# 75, Nobody's Perfect
(Script Title: "Baby's First Twitch")

TEASER

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: This scene is not in the script.
• Episode: Samantha is feeding Tabitha breakfast. Darrin enters with a reminder to Samantha to call him as soon as the doctor is done with Tabitha's checkup. Darrin goes on to voice his concern over Tabitha's diaper rash, as he is losing sleep over it. Samantha replies that Tabitha is not losing any sleep over it. Darrin is also concerned about Tabitha's drooling and potty training. With a final admonition to Samantha to call him, he leaves.

Doctor's Office:

• Script: Tabitha sits on the Doctor's desk playing with a stuffed pony. Samantha asks to use the phone and calls Darrin to report the results of the check-up. Darrin finds his notes and questions Samantha about the results including the diaper rash, the drooling, and the potty training. He will not let her get a word in edgewise, finally asking her what the Doctor did say.
• Episode: This entire section is cut up to the point where Samantha hands the phone to the Doctor.
  
  
• Script: As the Doctor takes the phone he rises, moves to the front of the desk and motions for Samantha to come listen. Samantha puts the pony on the chair. Tabitha wiggles her fingers and the pony rises and starts to her. The Doctor finishes his conversation without ever seeing the pony move, and the scene fades to an ending.
• Episode: Samantha hands the Doctor the phone. He does not get up or motion Samantha to listen. Samantha, holding Tabitha, moves behind him. Tabitha reaches her arms out and the pony starts to come to her. Samantha grabs it, so Tabitha reaches for the Doctor's stethoscope on the desk and it comes to her. With a horrified look on Samantha's face, the scene fades.

END OF TEASER

ACT I

Note: The script does not break the episode down into Teaser, Act I [sometimes Act II] and the Tab or Trailer.

• Script: Calls for Tabitha to be lying in her crib while Samantha talks to her about giving her a little test so she can be sure. Except Samantha is not sure she wants to know for sure. She wiggles the pony in front of Tabitha and finally puts the pony on the dresser. Samantha asks Tabitha if she can get the pretty pony. Tabitha wiggles her fingers and the pony comes to her.
• Episode: Tabitha is standing in her crib. Most all of the above lines are cut to the point where Samantha puts the pony on the dresser. She asks Tabitha if she can get the pretty pony. At first Tabitha reaches for the pony and nothing happens. Then she takes her finger and uses it to wiggle her nose and the pony comes to her.
  
  
• Script: Endora appears. Samantha starts to lead her out of the room so Tabitha can go to sleep. Endora insists on Tabitha having her bottle. She picks it up. Tabitha wiggles her hand and the bottle comes to her.
• Episode: Tabitha is not shown wiggling anything.
  
  
• Script: Endora asks what is going on, takes one look at Samantha and knows what it is.
• Episode: When Endora looks at Samantha, Samantha nods her head.
  
  
• Script: Samantha makes excuses that a baby's eyes and hair change color, so maybe the magic is only temporary. Endora asks Samantha if she doesn't want Tabitha to be a witch.
• Episode: The above lines are cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Tabitha is in her playpen which is full of toys. Endora wants to see if Tabitha has developed basic topsy-turvy. She gestures toward a vase of flowers on the cocktail table and it turns upside down. Endora then tries to coax Tabitha to turn it back right side up. Endora decides that the flowers may be too heavy for Tabitha, so she levitates a dish and turns it upside down, She asks Tabitha to turn the dish right side up.
• Episode: A lamp is used instead of a vase of flowers, and an ashtray is used for the dish.
  
  
• Script: As Endora has the dish in the air, Darrin enters. He greets Endora with, "Oh, hi Endora"
• Episode: Darrin's line to Endora is, "When did you swoop in?"
  
  
• Script: After Endora makes the cocktail table appear and disappear, Darrin tells Endora that he wants no m-a-g-i-c in front of Tabitha. Endora replies, "Yes, Durban."
• Episode: Endora's reply is cut.
  
  
• Script: Darrin complains to Endora that Tabitha has too many toys in her playpen, and takes some out. The script calls for Tabitha to twitch her nose and the pony to fly out of Darrin's hand.
• Episode: Tabitha does nothing more than reach toward the pony, but it comes to her.

Tabitha's Nursery:

• Script: Darrin, Samantha, Larry, and the client Mark Robbins enter.
  [Direct from the script]
  DARRIN: [loudly] Look at that!
  SAMANTHA: [rushes up] Whatever she did, it's just a phase!
  DARRIN: Did you see that?
  SAMANTHA: [covers her eyes] I can't look!
  LARRY: What did she do, Darrin?
  DARRIN: She yawned! But so intelligently! Just like a grown up. She opened her little mouth and yawned! You ever see such an adult expression.
  LARRY: It was cute, Darrin, But I'd hardly classify yawning as a sign of genius. Babies yawn when they're only a few days old.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: At the end of the scene where it is decided that Tabitha will be the ideal model for Robbins Transmissions, the script calls for Darrin to take the pony and place it out of Tabitha's reach. They all leave, with Samantha being the last one out. She sees the pony float over to Tabitha.
• Episode: Tabitha is shown using her finger to wiggle her nose to make the pony come to her.

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha is in the kitchen. Endora pops in. There is a long conversation between the two about the problem with Tabitha. Endora chastises Samantha about her witchy pride, and trying to hide that Tabitha is a witch. Samantha makes excuses that now is not the time to tell Darrin, that she needs to prepare him for it, and that she is afraid he'll give her a bad time, which she corrects to it is a bad time. Endora accuses her of being wishy-washy. Samantha says she will tell Darrin next week.
• Episode: This scene is entirely cut.

Tabitha's Nursery:

• Script: Samantha and Darrin are standing by Tabitha's crib. After Darrin's line, "Tomorrow's the big day," the script continues with:
  [Direct from the script]
  SAMANTHA: [bravely; leveling with him] Darling, to be perfectly honest with you, I'm worried.
  DARRIN: Worried? There's nothing to be worried about now. Our worries are over.
  SAMANTHA: [confused] They are?
  DARRIN: Sure. Thanks to Tabitha. If it weren't for her, I'd still be slaving trying to come up with an idea to suit Robbins. I don't mind telling you I was getting desperate. I've never worked so hard, on anything. [his arm around her, a comforting squeeze] But it's okay now. [gesturing at Tabitha] There she is - - -the perfect baby - - -the perfect solution to all her daddy's problems! And her mommy's too. [winks at her] Cause if she doesn't solve her daddy's problems, life is miserable for mommy, right?
  SAMANTHA: [Samantha looks like she had swallowed a very bad oyster. She tries to smile] [echoing dully] Right. Life is miserable for mommy.
• Episode: The entire above is cut.
  
  
• Script: Darrin leaves the room. Samantha stays, talking to Tabitha. Tabitha wiggles her nose, and the pony floats to her.
• Episode: Tabitha is not shown to wiggle her nose. Tabitha is off camera at this instant.
  
  
• Script: After Samantha's line, "Tabitha, you twitched your nose just like mommy," Endora pops in. Again the two argue over Samantha's not shouting to the world that Tabitha is a witch, and includes Endora's comments that Tabitha will be able to turn Darrin into a kangaroo anytime he crosses her, and what happened to Samantha's claim that she keeps no secrets from Darrin.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: After Endora leaves, Samantha rehearses how she will tell Darrin that Tabitha is a witch. After her line, "-----no that's too chicken", she mumbles and makes a timid exit.
• Episode: After the chicken line, lines are added about writing him a note and ending with, "I'll tell him first thing in the morning.

Stephens' Bedroom:

• Script: Darrin is lying in bed with his back to the camera, his light on and an open book next to him. Samantha enters, approaches Darrin and begins a long drawn out speech about the problem with Tabitha. Samantha comes closer to Darrin and is about to say that Tabitha is a witch when she realizes he is asleep. She shakes him, he sleeps on. Finally she climbs into bed still rehearsing the speech she has to make to Darrin.
• Episode: This scene is omitted.

Stephens' Bedroom:

• Script: Samantha wakes up from dreaming that she is telling Darrin Tabitha is a witch. Finally, she comes awake and realizes that Darrin is not there. She gets up and puts on a robe.
• Episode: Samantha puts on her slippers, but does not put on a robe.

Office Building Corridor:

• Script: [Calls for Samantha to appear still wearing her nightgown and robe. Her hair looks rotten. An elevator operator and an elderly lady stare at her].
  SAMANTHA: Darrin!
  ELDERLY LADY: [to operator] I was just getting used to hip huggers - - now this! [to Samantha] Disgraceful! [Samantha looks down at herself and disappears around a corner. She zaps herself into a neat suit and hairdo.] [Another camera angle] As she walks back around the corner she smiles warmly at the elevator operator and the elderly lady, then takes off in a dash. The elevator operator and the elderly lady stare at each other in amazement.
• Episode: This scene is cut. Samantha zaps herself into a neat dress and hairdo before she leaves Tabitha's room.

Photographers Studio:

• Script: Calls for Tabitha to wiggle her nose to make the toys move. She is called to do this three time to move the toys around.
• Episode: Tabitha is not seen to wiggle her nose or fingers. There is no more than a small arm movement. The toys do move.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Tabitha to wiggle her nose and the picture to fall on Diego.
• Episode: Tabitha puts her finger beside her nose, but does not wiggle it.

TRAILER

Script and Episode: Script and Episode are the same other than the script does not define the beginning of the Trailer.

# 77, Witches and Warlocks Are My Favorite Things

This script features two main story lines, each getting about the same amount of time. One story line is Darrin's golf game, the other is the testing of Tabitha. Running parallel stories does not let either develop to its fullest. Therefore, the golfing scenes were removed and only the testing of Tabitha was featured in the aired version. In this episode the main body of the aired episode, with the exception of the golfing scenes, generally follows the script, with only the usual number of variations between the script and aired episode. The TEASER and TRAILER, however, have totally different settings and lines.

TEASER - SCRIPT

Stephens' Kitchen:

Samantha is preparing breakfast, Tabitha is in her chair when Darrin enters, dressed for golf. Darrin kisses Samantha, then Tabitha.

DARRIN: [to Tabitha] Next time, put all of the oatmeal in your mouth.
Darrin then drinks a glass of orange juice and sits down as Samantha brings over a plate of scrambled eggs and a string of small sausages. While Darrin is telling Samantha about his upcoming golf game with Larry, and is not watching Tabitha, she twitches her nose and the sausages fly to her. Samantha tells Darrin to take his time as some of her relatives are dropping in to visit. Darrin looks at Samantha while trying to spear a sausage on his fork, but he hits nothing but plate.
DARRIN: Your relatives! Sam, I - - - [looking down puzzled] Did you or didn't you give me sausages?
SAMANTHA: I most certainly did! [THE CAMERA PULLS BACK as they turn and look at Tabitha who is busy eating the string of sausages].
DARRIN: [indignantly] Those are Daddy's sausages! Sam, she's at it again! [Samantha takes the sausages from Tabitha] Darrin asks Samantha what brings on the visit of relatives. Samantha replies that they have heard about Tabitha's powers and are coming to see her. Darrin doesn't like the idea of his house full of witches and warlocks, and insists that they look at the baby and leave. Samantha tells Darrin that there will be no magic from her side of the family, but she won't vouch for his. [Samantha nods her head in Tabitha's direction. Tabitha is wiggling her nose and the sausages are floating over to her.]

End Script TEASER

TEASER - EPISODE

Stephens' Bedroom and Upstairs Hall:

Samantha and Darrin are asleep in bed. The glowing, bouncing ball appears and hovers over Samantha. Samantha wakes, and follows the ball out into the hall. Endora appears to tell Samantha that a coven of all of her aunts will convene the next day to test Tabitha's powers. Endora also cautions Samantha to get rid of Darrin for the day. Samantha replies that even though it is a Saturday, Darrin has to work and will be gone most of the day.

End Episode TEASER

Stephens' Entry and Living Room:

• Script: Darrin's golf clubs are by a chair. He looks out the window, then at his watch. Samantha enters and puts Tabitha in a playpen. She says she is going up to make the beds, so have a nice game.
• Episode: Darrin is in the Entry, ready to go to work. He and Samantha go toward each other for a kiss when Endora appears between them.
  
  
• Script: After Endora's line about "- - - unfortunate lineage", the script continues:
  
  DARRIN: You sure know how to make a guy feel great!
  ENDORA: Oh, go out and play with your marbles!
  SAMANTHA: Mother, Darrin is Tabitha's father!
  ENDORA: I know - I know - - - but I love her, anyhow! Tell me---tell me everything she's been doing!
  DARRIN: Oh, very spectacular stuff. She swiped my sausages this morning!
  ENDORA: [looking at him] You're still here. [then] And what were you doing eating sausages? You're collecting a lot of flab there.
  DARRIN: All right, "Grandmother" - -knock it off. You've seen Tabitha, you've handed out your usual quota of insults, so why don't you buzz off?
  ENDORA: I'm certainly not leaving until the others get here!
  DARRIN: I've changed my mind. I'll do the buzzing. [He crosses to the hall closet to get his golf clubs.
  [NOTE: The script has already said that the golf clubs are by a chair]
  The script continues as Larry enters. Samantha, Endora, and Tabitha exit up the stairs.
• Episode: Darrin exits before Endora goes to Tabitha. Most of the above lines are cut. Samantha, Endora, and Tabitha stay downstairs.
  
  
• Script: Aunt Clara arrives by coming down the chimney and making a mess in the fireplace. Darrin and Larry rush over to help her up.
• Episode: Darrin has already left. It is Samantha who helps Aunt Clara up, and dusts her off.

Tabitha's Room:

• Script: Samantha is straightening the room. Endora waves and the room is instantly straight. Samantha and Endora argue over the use of magic, which Darrin does not like.
• Episode: This scene is cut.
  
  
• Script: Aunt Clara gives Tabitha a kiss, and Endora has lines about "getting this over with!”
• Episode: Aunt Clara greets Tabitha in the Living Room, where Endora delivers her, "---getting this over with" lines. The part in Tabitha's room is cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Four chairs have been set up in a semicircle, facing Tabitha's high chair. A pentagram has been drawn in chalk around the high chair, and there are unlit candles at the five points.
• Episode: The pentagram and the candles are omitted.
  
  
• Script:
  
  AUNT CLARA: I hope Darrin's having a nice golf game!
  ENDORA: For heavens sakes, Clara - -why didn't you straighten up the fire tools after you came in!
  AUNT CLARA: Oh - - -sorry about that! [She turns to the fireplace where a poker is lying across the hearth and waves her hands at it. The poker disappears] Whoopsie! I didn't mean for it to disappear. I wonder where it went?
  THE SCENE CHANGES TO: A Golf Course.
  
• Episode: This scene is cut.

A Golf Course:

• Script: Darrin reaches for a club and pulls out the missing poker, and starts forward to tee up. Larry looks at the poker.
  
  LARRY: I don't care how far you can hit a ball with that - - it's illegal! [Darrin looks at the poker and reacts].
  DARRIN: How did that get in there? [He puts the poker back in the bag, takes out the driver, tees up and drives].
  
• Episode: The above scene is cut entirely.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Hagatha and Enchantra arrive in an old electric car with a gnome-like chauffeur named Macbeth. The chauffeur helps the ladies down and hands down an old fashioned doctor's bag. Hagatha tells the chauffeur they will not be needing him for a while.
• Episode: There is no chauffeur, the car is driverless. There is no doctor's bag. When Hagatha says, "Macbeth, we won't be needing you for a while," she is addressing the car.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Hagatha to pull out her equipment from the doctor's bag.
• Episode: Hagatha zaps them up.
  
  
• Script: Hagatha asks Aunt Clara to put the test gown on Tabitha who is in the kitchen. Aunt Clara closes her eyes and waves the dress toward the kitchen.
• Episode: The gown is only a small cape.

Golf Course:

• Script: Larry is waiting on the green as a ball comes up over a bunker and rolls into the hole. Darrin climbs up from the other side wearing the test gown that is now his size.
• Episode: This scene takes place in Darrin's office where he suddenly has the small cape draped over his shoulder. He folds the cape to put in his desk when it disappears.

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Aunt Clara hurries in from the living room. Tabitha is in her playpen eating a cookie. She is wearing Darrin's golf cap, in her size. Aunt Clara waves and the golf cap disappears and the gown appears on Tabitha.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Aunt Clara comes in with Tabitha and puts her in her high chair. Enchantra lights a candle in a candlestick and holds it toward Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara makes a gesture and the candlestick disappears.
• Episode: Picks up with Tabitha in her high chair. Who put her there or who put the cape on her is not shown. The bit with the candlestick is cut.

Golf Course:

• Script: Darrin starts to light a cigarette for Larry when his lighter turns into a candle in a candlestick. Darrin reacts when he sees what he is holding and throws it over his shoulder. Larry does a double take when he realizes how his cigarette was lit, but when he turns to Darrin, Darrin is holding his lighter.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Hagatha has just completed a test on Tabitha when Darrin calls to tell Aunt Clara to quit interfering with his golf game.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Golf Course:

• Script: Darrin and Larry see a new Chevrolet that will be given to the first person to make a hole-in-one on that hole.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: While testing Tabitha, Hagatha manipulates dials and switches, and a close shot of the machine shows the dials all at the maximum.
• Episode: The scene is simplified. Only the part about the ball floating to Tabitha is used.

Golf Course:

• Script: Larry complains about the course and Darrin's shot. Darrin goes to hold the flag for Larry and discovers he has made a hole in one. Thinking this is Aunt Clara's doing, he takes the ball out of the cup and places it a little ways from the cup. When Larry arrives, Darrin picks up the ball and throws it away. He then proceeds to break every one of his clubs.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Darrin enters with an empty golf bag yelling for Aunt Clara.
• Episode: Darrin enters without a golf bag and wants to know what is going on.
  
  
• Script: After Hagatha's line, "And I'm sure your father will approve," Samantha takes out the whistle Maurice gave her and blows on it. There is a deep sound as if from an ocean liner's deep throated whistle.
• Episode: There is no sound at all from the whistle.
  
  
• Script: Maurice calls for Macbeth and blows on the whistle. The car appears with Macbeth driving. Maurice opens the door for the ladies.
• Episode: The car Macbeth appears [no driver], and it is Darrin who opens the door for the ladies. Maurice gestures and the car disappears.

END OF ACT I

TRAILER - SCRIPT

Stephens' Kitchen:

[Darrin is having a cup of coffee]
DARRIN: It wasn't just the fire poker and that crazy witches' gown, but with Aunt Clara's help, I was making impossible shots! It was downright embarrassing!
SAMANTHA: You poor dear!
DARRIN: I was four up on him at the end of the first nine. That's when I called you!
SAMANTHA: We were right in the middle of testing Tabitha!
DARRIN: But right after that - - on the tenth hole - - - Aunt Clara handed me a hole in one!
SAMANTHA: Uh - - Darrin . . .
DARRIN: [going on] That was overdoing it! Thank heavens I sneaked the ball out of the cup before Larry saw it!
SAMANTHA: [hesitantly] Darrin - - I don't know how to tell you this . . .
DARRIN: What?
SAMANTHA: After your phone call, Aunt Clara didn't do any magic at all! Not even accidentally! I'm sure of it!
DARRIN: [a ghastly look comes over Darrin's face] You mean I made the hole in one legitimately?
SAMANTHA: [nodding] All by yourself!
DARRIN: [excited] I made a hole in one! Sam, I really made a hole in one! I won the car! I've got to call Larry! Everybody! [he runs to the phone and starts dialing]
SAMANTHA: Uh - - Darrin! [as he turns] What're you going to tell him? [Darrin's face falls and he hangs up and sinks into the breakfast nook]
DARRIN: [groaning] Oooooooooohhhh! [She puts her arm around him and kisses him]
SAMANTHA: Cheer up honey! You can always keep telling me! [Darrin looks at her with a look that only a golfing man can understand.

[FADE OUT]

TRAILER - EPISODE

Stephens' Dining Room:

Darrin and Samantha are sitting at the dining room table. Samantha is telling Darrin that Tabitha's powers are limited when the bowl of fruit on the table takes off and heads up stairs. Darrin's comment is, "Her powers may be limited, but her appetite isn't!"

Tabitha's Room:

Maurice sits holding Tabitha, who is asleep, when the bowl of fruit comes floating in. He zaps a table for the bowl to sit on, and he eats a few pieces. Samantha enters and is surprised and pleased to see her father with Tabitha. Maurice tells Samantha that he wanted to do a little baby sitting, and that she and Darrin can have the evening out. He asks where she would like to go, and names off several exotic places. Samantha's reply is that nothing could beat what she is looking at right then.

[FADE OUT]

# 79, A Most Unusual Wood Nymph

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Calls for Gerry to have black hair and be dressed in a printed silk tea frock.
• Episode: Gerry is a redhead and wears a plain colored dress. Her hat, however, is strictly “Minnie Pearl”.
  
  
• Script: After Gerry enters the kitchen - -
  SAMANTHA: Welcome, Gerry. I’m Darrin’s wife, Samantha.
  GERRY: [shaking her hand] A grand pleasure, it is.
  SAMANTHA: Here, let me take your bag.
  DARRIN: [finally coming to] No! I’ve got it. [He takes the bag. His eyes never leave Gerry]. So you’re Gerry O’Toole! How are things in Derrybrian?
  GERRY: Just fine.
  DARRIN: Is the little brook still leaping there?
  GERRY: Oh, yes!
  SAMANTHA: Does it still run down to Killy-bags, Killcarney and Kildare?
  GERRY: [blankly] Hm?
  SAMANTHA: You’ll have to excuse Darrin. He’s got to get to the office.
  DARRIN: What! And walk out on an old friend of the family? [He takes Gerry’s elbow and starts to lead her toward the living room]
  SAMANTHA: [looking up] Thanks a heap, Aunt Letitia – whoever you are.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

ACT I

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  GERRY: Well, naturally the first thing I have to do be doing is getting myself a job.
  DARRIN: Maybe I can help you there. I have a lot of contacts.
  GERRY: You must have a very important position.
  DARRIN: I’m vice-president of McMann and Tate.
  GERRY: Is that a fact now?
  SAMANTHA: It may not be now, but it was at nine o’clock this morning.
• Episode: After Gerry’s line about getting a job, the remaining lines are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room [after dinner]:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Mother - - - - -but - - Gerry’s a friend of Darrin’s Great Aunt.
  ENDORA: If she is, I’m Darrin’s great uncle.
• Episode: Endora’s line is changed to, "If she is, I’m his great uncle”.
  
  
• Script: [ENDORA’S voice is heard] That’s only because it isn’t true. [She POPS into view. Gerry starts in fright].
• Episode: Endora’s voice is heard, but she does not pop into view until later.
  
  
• Script: [Samantha puts Darrin into the deep freeze].
  SAMANTHA: [to Gerry] All right, now I want the truth! [She TWITCHES her nose. At the same time Gerry waves her hand. In the center of the screen a short circuit takes place, giving off a jagged flash and the characteristic buzzing sound, as the two efforts at magic collide.
  ENDORA: [to Samantha] Dear, this is what separates the girls from the women. [She whispers in Samantha’s ear, and Samantha’s face lights up. She TWITCHES her nose and immediately we hear the sound of several cats snarling. Gerry reacts in fright and jumps up on a chair].
• Episode:
  SAMANTHA: All right, now I want the truth.
  [The two women get into a staring contest. There are no sparks. Endora is not present. Samantha TWITCHES and we hear the cats. Gerry jumps on the sofa].
  
  
• Script:
  GERRY: [a deep breath] What’s brought me here is the curse of Killycone Karney.
• Episode: ”Killycone Karney”, which is used throughout the script, is replaced with “Killcarney County” throughout the episode.
  
  
• Script:
  GERRY: It was a better rhyme in the 14th century.
• Episode: The episode uses 15th century. All uses of the 15th century in the episode were 14th century in the script.
  
  
• Script: Samantha asks for a twenty-four hour truce. Gerry refuses.
  SAMANTHA: You’ve waited 400 years, what’s another couple of days?
• Episode: The 400 years is corrected to 500 years.
  
  
• Script: [Samantha unfreezes Darrin]
  DARRIN: [coming to life] . . . .as a bug in a rug. Oh, hello Mother.
  ENDORA: Hello, Donald.
  GERRY: It’s Darrin
  ENDORA: Don’t you start. [Samantha gestures for Endora to follow her into the kitchen]
  SAMANTHA: Excuse us, please. [They exit to the kitchen. Darrin picks up a television guide].
• Episode: This bit is cut.
  
  
• Script: Darrin: “The Cat and the Canary.”
• Episode: This line is given to Samantha.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: As Endora sends Samantha back in time, and after her incantation that ends in, “...We seek the day the deed was done”, the script calls for: [The lightning, thunder and wind reach a crescendo. Both Samantha and Endora appear to be straining every muscle to make the charm work. For a few moments it looks as if will all be for naught. Then suddenly, a puff of SMOKE surrounds Samantha and she disappears].
• Episode: Any straining is not apparent. There is no delay as the smoke appears quickly and Samantha vanishes.

ACT II

Country Road:

• Script: We are close on to a stone road sign reading: KILLYCONE KARNEY. The camera moves off sign to rolling countryside, and in the distance we see a great house perched on a hill. Camera moves in to house. Throughout, the sound of howling wind is heard, together with lightning and thunder.
• Episode: There is no sign, no Camera movement, no wind, lightning or thunder. Only a brief shot of a castle in the distance.

Pantry:

• Script: The scene begins in a typical large manor house pantry with an open door leading to the dining room and another grand room beyond. The housekeeper, wearing clothing of the period, bustles out of the dining room carrying a tankard on a tray. She addresses a maid, who turns out to be Samantha, telling her to take more ale in to the master. Not seeing the maid she expected, she asks Samantha where “Bridget” is. Samantha replies that “Bridget took sick” and she is filling in. Samantha does not know where the ale is, so the housekeeper tells her it is in the keg right under her nose. Samantha then asks the date. The housekeeper replies it is the 12th of Michelmas in the year 1472. Samantha comments that this was a pin-point landing. The housekeeper complains, “you can’t get decent help these days”. The housekeeper exits. Samantha fills the tankard and exits to the dining room.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Darrin the Bold’s Dining Room:

• Script: Calls for the maid to be feeding Darrin the Bold tidbits. Samantha enters and watches. Darrin finally notices her.
• Episode: The scene is shortened somewhat. Samantha enters at the start of the scene. The maid feeding Darrin is cut. Samantha gets his attention.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  GERRY: Don’t be afraid of me, Darrin.
  DARRIN: Afraid? I’m not afraid. I just - - -where is everybody?
  GERRY: Your wife’s away on an emergency and your mother-in-law’s taken the baby for a ride.
  DARRIN A ride? In what?
  GERRY: In her car, I suppose.
  DARRIN: She doesn’t have a car. And some day she’s going to get in trouble with the Civil Aeronautics Board. [He steps away from her and sits on the sofa. Gerry promptly crosses around and sits close to him]
  GERRY: Why do you run from me, Darrin?
  DARRIN: Was I running? I didn’t mean to. I was just . . .looking for a place to sit down. [She toys with his tie and shirt, pressing close. Darrin squirms] I don’t know why Samantha had to go away!
  GERRY: I told you. It was an emergency.
  DARRIN: Yeah, but we’ve got a perfectly good emergency right here! [Gerry reaches up and kisses him. Darrin’s eyes widen in shock as he tries to back away but can’t].
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Darrin the Bold’s Dining Room:

• Script: Darrin and Rufus argue.
  RUFUS: A guest does not pay.
  DARRIN: A guest is invited
  RUFUS: [threateningly] My forces number three score and ten. Does that mean anything to you?
  DARRIN: It means I’ve got seventy uninvited guests. And with one blast of a horn, I can rally twice that number.
  RUFUS: Are my men and animals to go hungry then?
  DARRIN: Not if you pay for the feed and fodder.
  RUFUS: I do not pay!
• Episode: The lines between, “A guest is invited” and "I do not pay”, are cut.
  
  
• Script: Rufus and Darrin exit. The housekeeper enters.
  SAMANTHA: Can I ask you something, mum?
  HOUSEKEEPER: What is it now?
  SAMANTHA: How long is “anon”?
• Episode: The lines are cut.

Darrin the Bold’s Bedroom:

• Script: Samantha tells Darrin her work there is done. She turns to exit. Darrin grabs her and turns her to kiss her. Samantha pops out.
• Episode: As Darrin turns Samantha, she calls, “Mother”, and pops out

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Darrin has the line ending with... “I’ll be on crutches”. He turns and crosses to the stairs.
  DARRIN: Will you let me know when my mother-in-law gets back with the baby? I’ve got to have a talk with her. I think a child should learn to walk before she flies!
• Episode: The lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: Samantha is trying to convince Gerry that Rufus is all right. Finally, she TWITCHES and Rufus appears.
• Episode: Samantha calls, “Mother”, who pops Rufus into the scene.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: [Darrin is in bed reading. Samantha enters wearing a robe].
  DARRIN: How’s the baby?
  SAMANTHA: Fine. I just changed her.
  DARRIN: Into what?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin!
  DARRIN: Sorry. [Samantha has removed her robe and gotten into bed] Just want to finish the end of this article, okay?
  SAMANTHA: Of course. [She looks over idly at Darrin as he reads. A thought occurs to her. She WRINKLES her nose and Darrin the Bold’s hair and moustache POP onto Darrin. He does not react. Samantha sits up and peers around to examine the effect. She shakes her head in disapproval, just as Darrin looks up].
  DARRIN: No, what?
  SAMANTHA: No, on you it just looks funny. [As Darrin reacts puzzled . . . FADE OUT]
• Episode: The above scene is cut. The episode has no trailer. The episode ends with the living room scene where Samantha asks, "Did you ever think of growing a moustache?”
  

# 80, Endora Moves In For A Spell

TEASER

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Samantha enters from the Dining Room, sees something o.s., frowns, shakes her head. Tabitha is in her playpen making a toy clown dance in mid-air.
• Episode: Samantha enters from the entry area, goes straight to Tabitha's playpen and picks the toy bear, not clown, out of the air.
  
  
• Script:
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Oh come now, Samantha really! What makes you think you can ever have the last word with that medieval block-buster you call Mother? [Arthur is in the hallway painting wearing a Cavalier's hat and looking very Rembrandt-ish]
• Episode: Arthur's lines are changed to: Oh come now, Samantha really. One more word about that dreadful lady and I will have to go. [Arthur wears a suit and his usual hat].
  
  
• Script: After Arthur's line "The wicked witch of the west", the script calls for a conversation between Arthur and Samantha about Arthur even missing Darrin, about Arthur's bad jokes, and about how Samantha has been replaced as Arthur's favorite [by Tabitha].
• Episode: These lines are cut and the episode picks up with Arthur and Samantha going to Tabitha in the playpen.
  
  
• Script: After Samantha's line "I'm awfully glad to hear you say it, or anyone else for that matter", the script calls for Endora to pop in behind them, start to speak, change her mind and pop to the stair banister on the landing. She listens to the conversation, reacting indignantly.
• Episode: The bit with Endora listening is cut. Her first appearance is floating in the Living Room.
  
  
• Script: As the scene between Arthur and Endora continues, they insult each other.
• Episode: About one half of the insult lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: [after Darrin enters]
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Words? There's the understatement of the hour.
  SAMANTHA: The truth is, he . . .he chased her away.
• Episode:
  ARTHUR: There's the understatement of the century.
  SAMANTHA: The truth is, he . . . . he sent her away.
  
  
• Script: After Endora creates the house on the vacant lot, Samantha has a line "What will they think?", Endora makes a gesture to return the house
• Episode: As Endora makes the gesture a line for her is added: "I don't care. I can handle this."
  
  
• Script: After Darrin's line, "I got it soft", the script calls for the scene to shift to Gladys approaching Endora's house and bracing herself to knock.
• Episode: This scene is moved to later after Arthur's line, "Sunshine, you have just moved out!"
  
  
• Script: After Gladys' line," Not even my husband", the script calls for the scene to shift to Darrin and Samantha in the kitchen.
• Episode: The scene shifts first to Arthur and Endora and the lines about "I'll evaporate you", and "Turn you into sour cream" are moved up to before the following scene, instead of after Samantha arrives in the Living Room.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Samantha to get up from the kitchen table, pat Darrin, and exit.
• Episode: Samantha rises, starts to exit, turns back and pats Darrin, then exits.
  
  
• Script: Arthur asks Endora which half of the world she wants. The scene cuts.
• Episode: Before the cut, Endora has the line about, "I'll take the top".
  
  
• Script: As Gladys and the policemen are in the house, Darrin and Samantha have lines about how Gladys will confuse the police, and about how sooner or later people are going to ask questions about the house.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

TRAILER

• Script: Calls for Darrin and Samantha to be in the nursery standing over Tabitha'S crib while they discuss Tabitha telling her great-great grand children about Samantha's family.
• Episode: The lines follow the script, but the scene takes place in the Stephens' bedroom.
  
  
• Script: Calls for two paintings, profiles facing each other, to be hung over the hall table. One painting is Arthur, the other, Endora.
• Episode: The two profile paintings are not there. Instead, after the Stephens' bedroom conversation, the scene shifts to the Living Room fireplace wall toward the front of the room. Endora and Arthur appear in the two paintings that have been hanging there and have the closing conversation about each sneaking back.

# 81, Twitch or Treat

REVIEWERS NOTE: There are two different scripts available for this script/episode comparison. The first script, written by James Henerson, and dated August 26, 1966 is listed as the “Revised Final Draft”. The second script, which lists both James Henerson and Ruth Brooks Flppin as authors, is dated September 5, 1966 and is listed as “Second Revised Final Draft”.
Since the later of the scripts most closely follows the episode, it will be used for the comparison. Then, a comparison of the main differences between the two scripts will be given to point out how the first script would be almost impossible to compare with the episode.

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: After Darrin names off the available movies, Samantha has lines about not caring which movie, only a nice dark movie where they can hold hands and forget about “Trick or Treating”. She continues with comments about how awful it is the way witches are presented to children.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: Before Samantha asks Darrin if he loves her, she moves close to him and slips her arm through his.
• Episode: She remains by the sofa and does not come near Darrin.
  
  
• Script: Endora’s house POPS back across the street. Samantha still has her arm in his, and leads him back to the sofa where she tells him that Halloween is the witches’ national holiday, and that Darrin should not evict someone on a holiday. Darrin says he sure would from that house, and Endora can have her party somewhere else.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

ACT I

Stephens’ Patio:

• Script: Samantha enters looks around. Endora POPS in.
• Episode: Endora is already seated in the tree when Samantha enters.
  
  
• Script: After Samantha’s line about her marriage being at stake:
  
  ENDORA: [indignant] Are you actually equating the worth of your marriage with the worth of my house?
  SAMANTHA: I am, and as much as I’d hate to do it, if I have to make a choice between you and Darrin, Mother . . .
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Three guesses who ends up the loser!
  SAMANTHA: So either zap that house away immediately or - - -
  ENDORA: - -or what? - -
  SAMANTHA: I’ll ask Uncle Arthur to help me get rid of it.
  UNCLE ARTHUR: My pleasure. What’ll you have Sammy, fire, flood, [new idea] or termites. They’re slow but fun.
  
  
• Episode: These lines are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: After Arthur’s line about Endora joking and not being very good at it, Endora elaborates on why she doesn’t want Arthur at the party. She wants the party to be gracious, and charming which automatically eliminates Arthur because he does not know the meaning of those words. Arthur is insulted at being referred to as not charming, though he admits to not being gracious.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

Stephens’ Front Door:

• Script: [Darrin has arrived home, and Samantha meets him at the door].
  
  SAMANTHA: If you’re sure it won’t throw you.
  DARRIN: Honey, believe me, at this point nothing can throw me.
  
  
• Episode: After they enter the house, Darrin can be heard to scream, “Sa-man-tha” in a long drawn out cry.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Darrin examines the living room decorations, saying that he was ready for anything except doves. [The camera angle changes to show a dove perched on the fountain] Samantha’s only other surprise is that since Endora won’t invite Arthur, she has.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens’ House:

• Script: Boris arrives with Eva still in cat form.
• Episode: This scene is moved to after the first party scene and the scene where Gladys calls Councilman Green.

Stephens’ House:

• Script: Calls for Eva to be wearing a fur coat.
• Episode: She does not wear a coat.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [The party is in full swing] Endora calls for caviar. Arthur makes a fish appear in her hands. Endora drops it.
• Episode: A bit is added where Endora takes Arthur’s handkerchief from his pocket and wipes her hands with it before she stalks off. Arthur has the line added, “Sam, you’re a nice child, but your mother is first and foremost a witch”.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Boris to see Samantha and come over to her and Darrin. Samantha introduces the two. Boris makes a little continental bow and extends his hand, as does Darrin. Eva approaches Darrin and after introductions from Samantha, pulls Darrin to the dance floor.
• Episode: Boris ignores Darrin on the introduction. He then asks Samantha to dance, and Samantha turns to Darrin for permission. Eva does not approach Darrin until after Boris and Samantha depart for the dance floor. She is not introduced to Darrin, but asks him to dance, and they do so on the spot.
  
  
• Script: Samantha sees the whiskers Eva has put on Darrin and twitches them off. She then says to Eva [catty], “Pull in your claws, darling. He’s mine.”
• Episode: Samantha is dancing with Boris and sees the whiskers. She leaves Boris and gets between Eva and Darrin. She does a finger snap to get rid of the whiskers. “Darling” in her line to Eva is replaced with, “Kitty Cat”. Added are the lines:
  
  DARRIN: Kitty Cat?
  SAMANTHA: Genuine Alley!
  
  Eva returns to dance with Boris.
  
  
• Script: The script calls for Eva to do a seductive dance with definite feline overtones - - -arching of the back, pawing and scratching motions with the hands, purring sounds, etc.
• Episode: The dance scene is basically cut with only the ending being shown.
  
  
• Script: SAMANTHA: The way he hits home runs, what else. [Samantha continues past Darrin as he shakes his head]
• Episode: WILLIE MAYS has the line added, “ Well, I guess it’s time for me to pop out to the ball park”. He POPS out.

Stephens’ Back Yard:

• Script: [Calls for Councilman Green to crawl through a front window of the house and drop out of the back window and land in the shrubbery. Gladys is standing there goggle-eyed]
  
  GLADYS: I called the number and they said they’d stand by. What happened?
  GREEN: [getting up] Mrs. Kravitz, I consider this Halloween prank in very poor taste. In the future, you have my permission to give your political support to my opponent. And I wish you good luck.
  GLADYS: Well!!!! [She marches off]
  
  
• Episode: These lines are cut and Green goes directly to his lines to Morgan about not saying anything about what they have seen.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: After Endora announces that she is about to do her recitations, Arthur tells Darrin he will save the day. As Arthur approaches the circle of guests:
  
  DARRIN: Uncle Arthur, I’d just as soon you didn’t
  SAMANTHA Oh-oh!
  DARRIN: Now what?
  SAMANTHA: I think Fort Sumter’s about to be fired on again! [Another camera angle shows Endora in front of a circle of guests who are applauding politely]
  ENDORA: Thank you. Needless to say, I wouldn’t dream of doing my selections if some of you hadn’t insisted. Now . . .what would you insisters like to hear first? [Uncle Arthur makes a gesture in Boris’s direction]
  BORIS: [suddenly he looks very drunk, his tie goes awry, he loses his accent] Sing “Melancholy Baby”. [Boris snaps out of it, looks amazed at himself] What? Endora, my apologies!
  ENDORA: No apologies from you Boris, dear. [Endora spots Arthur. She makes a gesture and a floating bottle of Champaign floats up behind Arthur and crashes over his head. Arthur, eyes glazed a bit, dabs at his wet face with a handkerchief]
  UNCLE ARTHUR: Cute.
  ENDORA: [to the crowd] As I was saying, my first selection will be, “Twas the Night Before Halloween”. [Arthur gestures] [Intercut to the Stephens’ Kitchen where Endora is doing her recitation to a roomful of floating trays, dishes, glasses, etc. Some of the dishes are being washed]. Twas the night before . . . [She suddenly realizes where she is] Oh, that monster! [She heads for the kitchen door, some of the glasses start to follow her] [To the glasses] No, No! Stay here and wash up! [She makes a gesture and POPS back into the living room and continues as if she had never left] But before I begin my first recitation, I would like to say one little thing. [She makes a gesture at Arthur] Hexacrab! [Arthur is suddenly sitting in the fountain, water spraying over him]
  UNCLE ARTHUR: You got to say one thing for her, she’s got imagination! [He points a finger at the water spray and the spray becomes a stream aimed directly at Endora. The guests start to back away]
  SAMANTHA: Uncle Arthur! Mother! You’re turning the party into a shambles! [People are putting on their wraps, starting to leave]
  ENDORA: [to the guests] Wait! Don’t go! [Mounting fury] Oh! Oh! Oh! [There is a sound of thunder and a crash of lightning]
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, Mother’s getting annoyed
  ENDORA: If you think I am going to allow myself to be bugged by a mortal and [pointing at Arthur] him … on Halloween of all nights . . .Come everybody, come with me . . .we’ll take our party somewhere else. [There is another sound of thunder, Endora makes a gesture, and Endora and the guests disappear.
  
  
• Episode: This scene is completely re-written. Endora announces she will begin her recitations. Arthur is not seen to make a gesture toward Boris. Boris, or Arthur imitating Boris, says sing “Melancholy Baby”. Boris does not appear drunk, lose his demeanor, or his accent. The bit about hitting Arthur over the head with a Champaign bottle is cut. Endora is not zapped into the kitchen. Endora does begin her recitation with interruptions from Uncle Arthur. She finally zaps him into the fountain [standing] and has her lines about taking the party somewhere else. [REVIEWER’S NOTE: The recitation does not appear in the script. However, the script is a copy of the one issued to Miss Moorehead, and appended to the script, in her handwriting, is the complete recitation, including the interruptions by Arthur.]
  
  
• Script: After Endora leaves, Darrin offers Arthur some dry clothes. Arthur agrees, and switches his wet suit for Darrin’s dry one, leaving Darrin wearing the wet one.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: Samantha has lines about Endora thinking Darrin is a good sport. Darrin replies that for an instant he thought Endora’s house was back. Samantha answers that Endora’s memory of it will not be a happy one, so maybe the house will stay gone.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
  

COMPARISON OF THE MAIN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SCRIPTS 1 AND 2

If the episode had been filmed according to script 1, episodes 80 and 81 could have easily been a two-parter since both draw heavily on the presence of Endora’s house.

CAST LIST

Tabatha is listed in the cast list of Script 1, though she does not appear in either script or the episode.

TEASER

The teasers of the two scripts are identical until Uncle Arthur’s voice is heard. In Script 1, his voice is coming from the radio, even though the radio is not turned on, and his announcement lines about the party are more extensive. In Script 2, his voice comes from the hall picture. Also, in Script 1, Samantha and Darrin have lines about the voice coming from the radio, and the lines that Arthur is saying that do not appear in script 2

ACT I of Script 1 begins in Endora’s Living Room with Endora using magic to decorate and trim the room for the party. Samantha is present and fusses at Endora for not inviting Uncle Arthur. Endora is quite adamant that she will not have her party ruined by his boorish jokes. Endora remembers she has not ordered the caviar. She does an incantation and a sturgeon appears in her hands [the script notes that any large fish will do]. In Script 2, this scene takes place during the party. In Script 1, Samantha continues to try to get Arthur invited to the party:

SAMANTHA: Uncle Arthur, if mother invites you, will you promise not to pull any practical jokes?
UNCLE ARTHUR: Oh absolutely . . .on my wart of honor.
ENDORA: Your what?
UNCLE ARTHUR: My wart of honor [shows them his hand with a wart on it] See? I got it from playing with a princess.
SAMANTHA: [hooked] Warts from a princess?
UNCLE ARTHUR: Well, she said she was a princess, but she turned out to be a frog.

This scene continues with Endora threatening Arthur if he shows up at the party. In Script 2, this scene is cut entirely.

In Script 1, Gladys knocks at the door of Endora’s house. Arthur zaps her back to her own house to knock on her own door. In Script 2, this scene takes place at the Stephens’ house before the party, but after Endora had done her decorations. In Script 1, a discussion develops between Gladys and Abner over Endora’s house. In Script 2, the scene is eliminated.

In Script 1, Darrin is shown in the bedroom in a tux, trying to tie his tie. He has a long speech, talking to himself, about in thirty years telling his grandchildren about going to a witches’ Halloween party. He says some nice things about Samantha, who enters behind him just in time to hear his comments about her. Samantha ties his tie for him. In Script 2, this scene is cut.

In Script 1, the first party scene is Boris arriving in a chauffeured limo. [Optional in the script is Boris gesturing and the limo POPPING out]. He then walks with the cat to the house. In Script 2, the bit with the limo is cut.

In Script 2, Gladys is frequently seen in the shrubbery around Endora’s house trying to peek in. This is the case when she sees Boris arrive. In Script 2, Gladys is seen in her own house at the window with her binoculars.

In Script 1, there is a scene where Darrin waits in the entry hall while Samantha shows the baby sitter [Sally] where things are in Tabatha’s room. The doorbell rings. There are two trick-or-treaters, a ghost and a pirate. The pirate is much bigger than the ghost. They hold out bags, and Darrin gives them each something. The ghost exits, but the pirate suddenly grows to giant size, brandishing his cutlass and threatening to make Darrin walk the plank. The pirate demands pieces of eight, saying he will accept pieces of four when Darrin says he has no pieces of eight. The pirate shrinks to normal size and removes his mask to reveal Uncle Arthur. Samantha comes down the stairs, resplendent in a sexy formal evening gown. Both men react and admire her loveliness. In script 2, this scene is deleted.

In Script 1, Gladys calls the police, the fire department and the SPCA, but gets no attention from any of them. She then calls Councilman Green, threatens to give her story to his opponent if he does not show up, and arranges to meet him in the bushes in front of Endora’s house. End of ACT I. In Script 2, she does not threaten the councilman, nor does she make any arrangements to meet him at Endora’s house.

In Script 1, as Samantha and Darrin arrive at the party, Endora calls Darrin by his correct name. In Script 2, she is not shown to greet them, but calls Darrin a variety of names during the party.

In Script 1, Uncle Arthur tries to sneak in the front door. Endora sees him, gestures, and Arthur finds himself out the back door. He goes back in, only to find himself outside the front door. This happens several times throughout the script. In Script 2, this happens only to the councilman and his manager, and Arthur does the magic.

In Script 1, Endora warns Samantha not to introduce Durwood as mortal since it might make some of the guests uncomfortable. Darrin wants to know, “What about me?” In Script 2, this scene is cut.

In Script 1 there is a four-man combo in one corner playing dance music. In Script 2 there is no combo, and when Darrin asks where the music comes from, Samantha replies that they have a “Ghost to Ghost hookup”.

In Script 1, Enchantra corners Darrin and regales him with the sickening food details of the party Hagatha gave last year. This dialog extends over into Eva’s dance. In Script 2, Enchantra is not at the party and Arthur delivers the food lines.

In Script 1, Endora refers to Darrin as “Durwood”. Instead of his usual reply, “It’s Darrin”, he replies, “It’s a lovely party Angora”. Endora has the line, “Finally getting the idea, aren’t you?” In Script 2, this bit is cut.

In Script 1, Hagatha is at the party. In Script 2, Hagatha does not appear.

In Script 1, Arnold Palmer and Sandy Koufax are at the party, but have no lines. In Script 2, it is Willie Mays at the party and he has two lines.

In Script 1, trick-or-treaters show up. Endora gives them some candy, but spots Arthur as the pirate and ZAPS him out. A small child POPS in, in a pirate’s outfit, starts to cry and runs out. In script 2, this scene is deleted.

In Script 1, Samantha suddenly hears Arthur’s voice, but he in invisible. She asks how he got in. He answers that he was in the child’s pocket. Things suddenly begin to fly around as Arthur makes his way across the room. He cannot be seen, but his insane laughter is heard all over the room. Arthur continues his rampage. Endora threatens to have him up before the Witches and Warlocks Disciplinary Committee for his behavior. In Script 2, this scene is cut.

In Script 1, Endora quiets the guests, encouraging them to dance. She dances with Boris, Samantha with Darrin. Darrin looks at the combo. A close shot of each of the four show that all are Arthur. Endora orders Arthur out. He responds with an extended drum solo. End of ACT II. In Script 2, this scene is deleted.

TRAILER

In Script 1, Samantha and Darrin are shown leaving Endora’s house. Endora has been horrified when the guests have congratulated her on having such a talented brother. As Samantha and Darrin walk home, the house behind them suddenly POPS out. In Script 2, this scene is replaced with the closing scene in the Stephens’ bedroom.

# 82, Dangerous Diaper Dan

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha is talking to Louise on the phone.
  SAMANTHA: . . .Louise I’m not interested . . .I don’t want to hear about it. [primly] . . Because I don’t want to hear anything about anybody unless it’s good. [pause] Oh, I see. [echoing] This is real good! [eagerly] They what? They did? . .
  DARRIN: Sam . . .
• Episode: After, “I don’t want to hear about it. . . .” Samantha’s lines are replaced with:
  SAMANTHA: . . .I don’t . . .Really? . . .What? . . .Who? . . .They didn’t? . . .They Did??
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, Louise and I were only discussing recipes . . .then, well, one little thing led to another. [Samantha goes to stove and returns with pot of coffee for Darrin]
  DARRIN: Well, cool it, will you honey? Please? No more gossip. Okay? [Endora POPS in, perched on kitchen counter]
  ENDORA: I don’t know what you’re complaining about. You always wanted her to be the girl next door. And now she is. A busybody! From an exotic creature of the wind to an over the back fence gossip.
  SAMANTHA: [protesting] Mother!
  ENDORA: [pointing at Darrin] I’m sorry, but I agree with whosis.
  DARRIN: Cut it out Endora. The last thing in the world I want is you on my side.
• Episode: All of the above is cut and replaced with:
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, I wouldn’t even listen to anyone about anything unless it was good, and boy was this good!

ACT I

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: [looks at rattle, reads printing on it] “Compliments of Diaper Dan, the Di-Dee Man”. Darrin, isn’t that cute?
  DARRIN: [unenthusiastically] Oh, yeh, yeh. Clever ad. [glances at watch] Ummm, it’s later than I thought.
• Episode: Samantha’s line is changed to: “Compliments of Diaper Dan”. Isn’t that cute. [Darrin’s line is cut]
  
  
• Script:
  DAN: Uh, well, I really have to be leaving, Mrs. Stephens. Bye. [exits fast]
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, I wasn’t gossiping this time. I was only . . . . listening, anyway who’s going to know what’s been said here?
• Episode: Between the two above lines is inserted:
  DARRIN: Sam, can’t you understand that loose talk can be a dangerous thing?
  SAMANTHA: All right, all right. Darrin you’re right. Even mother agrees with you.
  Endora: Up to a point. It’s not that I’m opposed to gossip; it’s just that this banal mundane type bores me.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha enters with Tabatha, giver her the new rattle]
  SAMANTHA: [to Tabatha] Look, honey, the pretty new rattle Diaper Dan brought for you . . .
  ENDORA: Aren’t you going to call Louise back?
  SAMANTHA: Definitely not!
  ENDORA: Oh really, Samantha. It’s painfully obvious that you’re just dying to hear what she has to say!
  SAMANTHA: I am not.
  ENDORA: I suppose there isn’t any harm in her calling you. [waves her hand, the phone rings].
• Episode: The above lines are cut. The scene opens with Samantha on the phone with Louise.
  
  
• Script: Samantha is still on the phone with Louise describing Darrin’s new slogan, “The Wright pen is the Write Pen for you”. Catchy, huh? . . .Yes “Wright” like in [spells] W –r-i-g-h-t and “Write”, like in [spells] W-r-i-t-e . . . .
• Episode: For the last part of the above lines, the scene shifts to Diaper Dan’s truck where he is listening in on and recording the conversation.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: That’s advertising talk for sensational!
  ENDORA: Oh.
  SAMANTHA: I really shouldn’t talk about it, but [eagerly] . . .it’s just brilliant. Darrin’s idea is to use an elephant and a slogan that goes, “an elephant never forgets but if you do - -write it down with a Wright pen and you’ll always remember”.
• Episode: After Endora’s, “Oh”, Tabitha has the line inserted, “I want rattle”. As earlier, the scene switches to Diaper Dan’s truck as we hear Samantha say the last part of Darrin’s slogan.

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: Larry is on his hands and knees beside Darrin’s desk. He finds a wire and follows it, finally pulls on the wire. A lamp crashes down and hits him on the head. Larry then goes through Darrin’s wastebasket. He then begins breaking pencils in half looking for a bug.
• Episode: Larry breaks pencils in half first, then goes through the wastepaper basket, then finds a wire behind the sofa. He pulls on the cord. A table lamp crashes and breaks, but does not hit Larry.

ACT II

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha is astonished to see the attaché case handcuffed to Darrin].
  DARRIN: Larry’s idea. [fumbles for key] I had the key here somewhere.
  SAMANTHA: Here, darling, let me get it off. [she starts wrinkling her nose]
  DARRIN: [clutching case] Sam, no magic. I promised Larry nobody touches this but me!
  ENDORA: Really, Derman, aren’t you carrying this ridiculous cloak and dagger business too far?
• Episode: Samantha’s line and Darrin’s last line are cut. Endora calls Darrin, “Durwood”, not, “Derman”.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: [shouting] I’m not shouting!
  ENDORA: You certainly are!
  DARRIN: [to Endora] You keep out of this.
  SAMANTHA: Mother, it might be better if you left.
  ENDORA: Oh, no. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.
• Episode: All but Darrin’s first line are cut.

Tabatha’s Room:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Mother! Of course, she sent us each a gift to patch up our quarrel!
  DARRIN: Endora? You’ve got to be kidding, Sam. She’d like nothing better than to have you fly right out of my life.
  SAMANTHA: Fat chance!
• Episode: Darrin’s line about Samantha flying out of his life is cut. Samantha’s, “Fat chance!”, is cut. The following is added:
  SAMANTHA: Well, sometimes she does what you don’t expect of her just to keep you thinking you know what to expect of her.
  DARRIN: Come to think of it, she did agree with me the other morning. That’s a switch.
  SAMANTHA: See what I mean. Mother’s a switchey witch.

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: It’s late. Samantha, in bed, awakes, finds Darrin hasn’t been to bed. She turns on the light, looks at the clock, hops out of bed and puts on her dressing gown.
• Episode: The above scene is deleted.

Stephens’ Den:

• Script: [Samantha enters, crosses to Darrin, who is fully dressed, bent over his desk, asleep. The layouts he’s been working on are beside him. Samantha pauses to admire the layouts.]
  SAMANTHA: Oh Darrin, these are terrific! Really they are. I know you won’t have any trouble this time. [Darrin doesn’t answer. She shakes him,] Darrin . . .Darrin . .
  DARRIN: [stirs, mumbles] Okay, Larry . . .I’ll finish ‘em . . .[Darrin falls back asleep]
  SAMANTHA: Darling, you did finish them and they’re just great! Darrin . . .[she shakes him, but it’s useless. She sees it’s useless, makes up her mind. She wiggles her nose. Darrin is levitated to a horizontal position, asleep, and is wearing pajamas. Samantha wiggles her nose again and Darrin floats through the doorway. He floats up the stairs and into the bedroom where he is suspended over the bed. Samantha pulls down the blanket then wiggles her nose. Darrin drops into bed. Samantha covers him, kisses him and turns off the light.
• Episode: The entire above scene is deleted.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha remembers what Darrin said about a “mike” being anywhere].
  SAMANTHA: The rattle! The microphone must be in the rattle.
  ENDORA: Honestly, Samantha, you’re taking this espionage business too seriously.
  SAMANTHA: I agree. I thought we were dealing with someone very smart, not someone stupid enough to give his right name to the florist. To be so obvious as to leave a microphone in a rattle. Well, I’ll fix that. He’s heard the last information he’s going to hear.
• Episode: The above lines are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: See! There’s the bug! And there goes Diaper Dan!
  ENDORA: [suddenly realizes] And there goes another one of your husband’s ideas!
  SAMANTHA: What?
  ENDORA: [indicating the sketches] I’ve been practically reading these things out loud for the last five minutes.
  SAMANTHA: [gasps] Oh Mother! C’mon. We’ve got to stop him. Darrin just can’t lose this account! [She wiggles her nose, and the rattle is whole again. Both Samantha and Endora vanish].
• Episode: After, “And there goes Diaper Dan”, Endora’s line is given to Samantha and changed to, “And thanks to you there goes another one of Darrin’s ideas!” The rest of the lines are cut. Samantha does not restore the rattle. She does not disappear but runs out of the room to the front porch.

Street:

• Script: [Samantha and Endora dismantle the truck and reduce Diaper Dan to a blubbering idiot]. SAMANTHA: Just one more little thing, Danny boy. [She wiggles her nose at the rattle]
• Episode: Samantha’s line and the bit with the rattle are cut.

Kimberley’s Office:

• Script:
  KIMBERLY: I can’t understand what’s keeping Dan.
  PETERSON: He was only a few blocks away . . .as the stork flies. Heh, heh. [Dan rushes in]
  DAN: Sorry I’m late Chief. But would you believe . . .[shakes his head] No, I don’t think you would.
  KIMBERLY: Never mind, never mind! Let’s get with it!
  DAN: [flips on recorder] I got it all right here. Every last word. [The three crowd around the recorder, listening intently. From the tape recorder, out comes baby talk].
  VOICE FROM RECORDER: Oonie noonie neenie nanny noonie . . .
• Episode: The entire scene in Kimberly’s office is deleted

TRAILER

• Script and Episode agree.

# 84, I’d Rather Twitch Than Fight

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Samantha is on the phone to Louise. Darrin calls down asking where his hound’s tooth jacket is. Samantha replies that he doesn’t wear it anymore.
• Episode: After Darrin first calls down asking where his jacket is, the following lines are added:
  SAMANTHA: [still on phone with Louise] Oh, sure, I’ll tell him. See you later. [hangs up phone – to Darrin] Louise and I are going shopping this morning.
  DARRIN: Oh, fine. Honey, where’s my hound’s tooth jacket?
  SAMANTHA: Larry’s car broke down, so she’s going to drop him off at the office and pick me up on the way back.
  DARRIN: Honey, I’m late for work and I haven’t time to listen to an itinerary of where you and Louise are going. Now, have you seen my hound’s tooth sport coat?
  SAMANTHA: Which one is that?
  DARRIN: The tweedy one – black and orange checks. The one you hate.
  SAMANTHA: Oh, that one. But you don’t wear it anymore.
  
  
• Script: Several times in the script the jacket is referred to as having been given to the “Good Will” store.
• Episode: “Good Will” is changed to “Thrift Shop” throughout the episode.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Darrin it was over a month ago. [conciliatory] Darling aren’t you making a big fuss over a twelve-year-old, worn out sport coat?
  DARRIN: [quietly] Sam, you’ve done some pretty strange things since we’ve been married . . .some prêt-ty arbitrary, capricious things. In the beginning, when your nose would start to twitch, I wouldn’t know whether you were going to sneeze or make the house disappear. But I tried to understand. I figured you were a witch and you couldn’t help it. But this . . .to give away a man’s hound’s tooth sport coat, his favorite sport coat, without even consulting him. I mean me . . .that’s really something.
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, I can’t believe this. That you could get so angry over a sport coat.
  DARRIN: Angry? I’m not angry. Who said I was angry? I’m just disappointed. . . . very, very, disappointed.
• Episode: After Samantha’s first line, the rest of the dialogue is cut.
  
  
• Script: Darrin exits, not closing the door. Samantha is fuming. She wiggles her nose at the door, and it slams shut.
• Episode: Darrin exits, not closing the door. Samantha is fuming. She makes a side-arm throwing motion and the door slams shut. Darrin opens the door, shakes his head at her as if to say, “naughty, naughty”, and exits.

ACT I

Larry’s Office:

• Script:
  DARRIN: [dry] Where did you do your residency, Doctor?
  LARRY: Huh?
  DARRIN: Vienna? Heidleberg? [Reviewer’s note: This is the script spelling for Heidleberg.] I don’t see your diploma on the wall.
• Episode: After Darrin’s first line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: Okay, Doctor. Which type is my hound’s tooth sport jacket?
  TATE: It’s hard to say. On the surface it seems to be amphigoric but we’ll have to go into it more deeply. I would say, off-hand, however, that you were in the wrong.
• Episode: “Okay, Doctor”, is cut. Tate’s lines are cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha is seated on the sofa. Louise stands in front of her She has been lecturing Samantha in exactly the same way that Larry has been lecturing Darrin].
  SAMANTHA: Wrong? Louise, you should have seen it. It was fifteen years old with black and orange checks. . . . .
  LOUISE: On the surface, yes. But Doctor Kramer says that clothes are very centripetal . . .that means significant. It started an argument, didn’t it?
  SAMANTHA: Look, Louise, I’m sure it’ll all blow over by this evening. Why don’t we just forget it.
  LOUISE: We have to wait for the baby-sitter anyway. We may as well get to the bottom of this. Now . . .to you it was just an ugly coat . . .
• Episode: [Louise is seated on the sofa facing Samantha] The scene begins with Louise’s line, “Now . . .to you it was just an ugly coat . . . All previous lines are cut.

Larry’s Office:

• Script: [Larry and Darrin are seated as before]
  TATE: Of course. To you it was just your favorite sport coat, but to Sam it represents a threat.
  DARRIN: [dubious] Larry, I’m not sure . . .
  TATE: You said yourself you bought it twelve years ago. Well, where were you fifteen years ago? In college, right?
  DARRIN: Yes, but . . .
  TATE: Unmarried . . .not a care in the world, right? [Darrin shrugs assent] Well, to Sam, that coat represents that part of your life before you met her, and she was jealous of it. It was an act of love for her to give it away.
  DARRIN: Did you get all this from Dr. Kramer?
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Hunting Apparel Store:

• Script: [Evidently an Abercrombie-Fitch type of store in which there is a male mannequin in fox hunting garb. Also, a few English saddles. Samantha and Louise stand in front of a mannequin, waiting for a saleslady]
  SAMANTHA: Oh, I hope they have one. This is our last chance.
  LOUISE: You know, you don’t have to get the same jacket. Any loud, outlandish thing would still show Darrin that you still think of him as romantic and dashing.
  SAMANTHA: But I wanted to get him one as nearly like the old one as I could. That would really make the point. Wouldn’t it?
  LOUISE: I suppose so, but Dr. Kramer says compromise is the basic necessity of married life. [the saleslady appears]
  SALESLADY: I’m sorry. I thought we might have had one left. They used to be quite popular for the hunt. But we stopped making them several years ago.
  SAMANTHA: Why is that?
  SALESLADY: We discovered they scared the horses.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Women’s Clothing Department:

• Script: The saleslady is showing Darrin a negligee. She goes to get another one in pomegranate, that she refers to as a new shade.
• Episode: The saleslady goes to get one in hot pink, that she calls, “A knockout”.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha moves quickly to the sofa, picks up the robe, waves it at Darrin]
  SAMANTHA: Well, I’d rather be a witch than a . . .[at a loss] . . . .whatever.
  DARRIN: So? You admit it. Then there’s nothing more to discuss. [he moves quickly to the entry hall.
  SAMANTHA: [following him] Darrin . . . .
• Episode: Samantha does not pick up the robe. Her first line is changed to, “Well, I’d rather be a witch than a . . . .convict!”. To her second line, after she says, “Darrin!”; “don’t you dare walk out on me!!” is added.

ACT II

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: [Larry enters. Darrin is on the sofa having a bad dream. Larry wakes him]
  TATE: Have you been here all night?
  DARRIN: Boy, was I wrong. How could I have been so wrong?
  TATE: Look. Just take it easy, and start at the beginning. What happened?
  DARRIN: That present she had for me . . .it was a hound’s tooth sport coat.
  TATE: [disturbed] Oh.
  DARRIN: That means she’s dissatisfied with being married, right? That she unconsciously wants to be single again?
  TATE: [worried; hedging] Well, not necessarily.
  DARRIN: [looking up] What do you mean, not necessarily?
  TATE: Well, it was only an interpretation.
  DARRIN: [rising] Larry, let me understand this. Sam and I had the worst fight we’ve ever had because of what you said, and now you say it was only an interpretation?
  TATE: [backing off a bit] Look, Darrin. . .I’m not a psychiatrist.
  DARRIN: [getting madder] You were doing a pretty good impersonation.
  TATE: Buddy-boy, I feel terrible about this.
  DARRIN: [loud] She hit the ceiling when she saw that robe. Called it a . . .a prison gown.
  TATE: Wow. You two aren’t ready to handle the centripetal kind of fight. You don’t even know the rules.
  DARRIN: Larry, what are you talking about?
  TATE: Well, you just can’t . . .have a serious fight without knowing the rules. That’s the whole point of Dr. Kramer’s theory. First you have to define your terms. Then you have to determine your opponent’s vulnerable areas in order to avoid them. The fight has to mean something. It has to have some significance.
  DARRIN: Well, this one meant I spent the night on this . . .[indicating couch]. How’s that for significant?
• Episode: After Darrin’s line about, “Boy, was I wrong . . .the entire above scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Endora sits on the sofa next to Samantha]
  ENDORA: He bought you this?
  SAMANTHA: Yes. Do you realize what that means? It means he takes me for granted . . .that he thinks of me as . . .as a . . .whatever [starts to cry in earnest].
  ENDORA: [rising] Well, for once you’re showing some sense. [she waves in the direction of upstairs. A suitcase materializes and opens itself]
• Episode: [The scene starts with Endora standing holding the robe] After the line, “He bought you this?”, is added, “Just like Durwood”. The rest of the scene is cut.
  
  
• Script: [Endora has a line about Samantha not staying in the house any longer]
  SAMANTHA: [startled] Mother, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t even know where Darrin is.
  ENDORA: So much the better. [she spots the hound’s tooth coat] And I suppose he bought that horror for himself.
  SAMANTHA: He didn’t buy it. I did.
  ENDORA: [can’t believe it] It’s worse than I thought. He’s positively corrupted your judgment.
  SAMANTHA:[ building up to another crying jag] I thought he loved it. But he didn’t. He hated it!
  ENDORA: Samantha, get hold of yourself. We can be out of here in five minutes. [Samantha notices what Endora has done]
  SAMANTHA: [rising] Mother, stop that. [she TWITCHES at the suitcase and it flies back upstairs]
• Episode: The above scene is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Do you think I should call him at the office?
  ENDORA: [disgusted] Oh, for Hecate’s sake. You mean you’re going to stay here?
  SAMANTHA: Of course. I love him.
  ENDORA: Well, there’s no accounting for tastes. If you feel that way why don’t you just [shrugs, waves her arms as if casting a spell] get him back here.
  SAMANTHA: I can’t do that.
  ENDORA: Why not? You can erase the entire argument from his memory. Although if I were you I’d think twice about ruining a good thing.
  SAMANTHA: [she’s tempted] No . . .That’s one of the things we were fighting about . . .and Darrin’s right. I can’t use witchcraft every time I have a problem.
  ENDORA: Darling, that’s what it’s there for.
  SAMANTHA: [to herself] But I can just call him and tell him he was right.
• Episode: After Samantha’s first line, the rest of the above is cut.

TRAILER

• Script and Episode have no TRAILER.

# 85, Oedipus Hex

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Mrs. Dumont exits. Samantha closes the door, very pleased, comes back in, looks at the cookie plate, then sweeps one up with the same gesture Mrs. Dumont used.
• Episode: Samantha closes the door, and looking very smug, prances [imitating Mrs. Dumont’s walk] back into the living room. The bit with the cookie is cut.

Episode ACT I [the script never defines the end of the TEASER or the beginning of ACT I]

• Script: [Endora appears on the couch].
  SAMANTHA: Mother! Were you here all the time?
  ENDORA: I was here for the fifth and sixth cookie. Mrs. Dumont certainly carries a lot of weight in the community.
  SAMANTHA: [a look, then] Yes, and I’m very pleased she asked me to be on the Ways and Means Committee.
  ENDORA: Well, you know the ways and you know the means. [Endora waves her hand and a pile of bills appears on the coffee table] [sarcastically] For the little kiddies from an anonymous donor.
  SAMANTHA: [indignantly] Mother, that’s not the idea at all. I want to have the pleasure of working with these women and doing something worthwhile for the community.
  ENDORA: Oh, all right! [She waves and the money disappears. Samantha smiles and reaches out for Endora’s handbag, takes out a bill].
  SAMANTHA: This is your contribution. [reacts as she looks at the bill] A hundred Egyptian piastres? Mother, you do get around.
• Episode: The entire scene is deleted.

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: [Darrin is sleeping restlessly]
  SAMANTHA: [softly] Darrin . . .[Darrin sits bolt upright in bed, startled, and fully awake].
  DARRIN: [loud and clear] What? What? Who called?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, dear - -it’s time to get up.
  DARRIN: I’m up!! I’m awake! I’m dressed!
  SAMANTHA: [shaking his shoulder] Honey! [Darrin focuses his eyes and becomes aware of her.
  DARRIN: Five minutes more. [He starts to lie down again, then looks at the alarm clock. He reacts, horrified]. Oh, no! I’ve got a meeting with Larry! I’m going to be late! [He jumps up and starts staggering around the room, pawing at things]. Where are my socks?
  SAMANTHA: Honey, a shower will wake you up.
  DARRIN: A shower. Where is it? [she turns him around, points him toward the bathroom and gives him a push].
  SAMANTHA: Keep going in that direction. You can’t miss it. [she smiles indulgently as he wanders toward the bathroom.
• Episode: The entire above scene is cut.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Endora is sitting in the breakfast nook, drinking some coffee. Samantha enters.
• Episode: Endora POPS in after Samantha enters the kitchen, and sits on the kitchen/dining room pass through.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Why, Mother, what brings you here so early?
  ENDORA: Sheer boredom. Rather than have the morning be a total loss I thought I’d come over and pick on Driftwood.
  SAMANTHA: Mother!
  ENDORA: Isn’t he up yet? [Samantha starts to fix breakfast]
  SAMANTHA: Yes, he’s up. But I hated to wake him. He had a very restless night.
  ENDORA: Fair enough. [as Samantha shoots her a look] What’s bothering your poor little human?
  SAMANTHA: A client is coming in this morning to see some new layouts. [sighs] I just wish he could forget his work now and then.
  ENDORA: There’s a typical stupid mortal wish. Would serve you right if it came true.
  SAMANTHA: What’s stupid about wishing your husband could forget his work once in a while?
  ENDORA: Because then he’d really be impossible.
  SAMANTHA: Not at all!
• Episode: The above scene is rewritten as:
  SAMANTHA: Why, Mother, what brings you here so early?
  ENDORA: Sheer boredom. Is what’s- his- name up yet? [Samantha starts to fix breakfast for Darrin]
  SAMANTHA: Yes he’s up, but I hated to wake him. He had a very restless night.
  ENDORA: Fair enough.
  SAMANTHA: I just wish he could forget his work now and then.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: I think I’ll be running along, dear - -before those dedicated do-gooders get here. Have fun.
  SAMANTHA: Thank you, Mother [Endora waves a hand and disappears].
• Episode: The above is cut.
  
  
• Script: Throughout the script there is a harp sweep and a brief glow of yellow light every time someone is near the popcorn and being induced to eat some.
• Episode: Throughout the episode the yellow light is omitted. The harp sweep occurs only after someone has taken their first bite of popcorn.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Darrin, the milkman, and the TV man are sitting around eating popcorn and watching a Western on TV when Larry comes storming in. Three times between Larry’s entrance and the time he first eats popcorn, voices from the TV set startle Larry. Each time he turns the TV off, but one of the others always turns it back on. For example]:
  SHERIFF’S VOICE: [from set - -loud and meaning] Hold it! Don’t Move!
• Episode: The voices from the TV set do not startle Larry, only annoy him and he turns the TV set off.
  
  
• Script:
  LARRY: [relaxing after eating popcorn] Parkinson? Who’s he? [they all cheer and applaud]
  TV MAN: Now you’re making sense Larry!
  MILKMAN: Let me get you a nice cold glass of milk. I’ve got a truck full of it. [the milkman starts out].
  DARRIN: [calls after him] Make mine chocolate!
• Episode: The above is cut.

Stephens’ Driveway:

• Script: Samantha drives up, gets out, picks up a bag of groceries and hurries toward the door.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Samantha opens the door to admit Mrs. Albright and Mrs. Wheeler.
• Episode: A scene is added before the ladies arrive. The men have moved their poker game to the patio. Endora sits in a tree watching and laughing.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin goes to answer the phone]
  SAMANTHA: [to girls] That’s still means a lot of tickets.
  MRS. ALBRIGHT: Well, we can also put collection boxes in all the stores.
• Episode: These lines are deleted.

Outside Stephens’ House:

• Script: Parkinson furiously drives his car up and slams to a stop with the rear end sticking out illegally into the street. Parkinson jumps out and starts angrily toward the house.
• Episode: This bit is cut and replaced with a shot of Parkinson banging on the front door.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: That was Mr. Parkinson - - -a very important client.
  MRS. WHEELER: Perhaps we should call off the meeting and have it some other time.
  MRS. ALBRIGHT: [rising] We do seem to have picked the wrong day . . . .
  SAMANTHA: Oh, no, no! I’m terribly sorry. Let’s go on.
• Episode: The above is cut after Samantha’s first line.

Outside Stephens’ House:

• Script: A police car is drawn up behind Parkinson’s car and a policeman is writing a ticket. He finishes writing, looks toward the house and goes toward it.
• Episode: This bit is cut and replaced with a shot of the policeman approaching the Stephens’ front door and ringing the bell.

Stephens’ Patio:

• Script: Parkinson is telling of a group of doughboys fresh from the battle of Chateau Thierry.
• Episode: Chateau Thierry is changed to the Battle of the Bulge.
  
  
• Script: Darrin ends up with the parking ticket. He tears it up and throws the pieces in the air.
• Episode: Added is Darrin’s line, “Happy New Year”.

EPISODE TRAILER

Stephen’s Kitchen:

• Script: The script continues as ACT I, but the episode begins the TRAILER with Samantha Calling for Endora to come out and get rid of the spell on the popcorn, and continues on to the point where everyone has left. Darrin returns to say he might take another morning off. Samantha breathes a sigh with a worried look about this happening again.
• Episode: The wording and actions of the script and episode agree through the above scene. The episode ends here.

SCRIPT TRAILER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Endora POPS in]
  ENDORA: Hello, Samantha.
  SAMANTHA: [icily] Goodbye, Mother.
  ENDORA: If there’s anything bothering you, you can always confide in your loving mother.
  SAMANTHA: Mother, I wish you’d stop using Darrin and me to prove your points!
  ENDORA: Well, I did prove it didn’t I? And the men got your money for you? What are you brooding about?
  SAMANTHA: I wanted to work on that committee, and get to know more of the women who’re active in our community. I told you that! Now it’s all over!
  ENDORA: [sighs] You always were a strange little girl. [then] Very well - -if that’s what you want . . .[she makes a gesture and the phone rings. Samantha answers]
  SAMANTHA: [to phone] Hello? . . .Oh, yes, Sarah . . .Yes. I’d be happy to serve on it . . .Friday afternoon . . .Goodbye. [hanging up] That was Sarah Albright, and she - -Endora makes another gesture, and the phone rings again. Samantha reaches for the phone]
  ENDORA: That’s Mary Wheeler with another committee job. Tell me when you want me to stop, dear. [Samantha tries to look annoyed, but then she smiles and picks up the phone]
• Episode: The script TRAILER is not used.

# 86, Sam’s Spooky Chair

TEASER

Antique Store:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: 800 dollars! Well, it’s beautiful but . . . .I just don’t think I can . . .[The chair tries to maneuver so it will be seen, but the salesman and Samantha turn down another aisle as he points out a pair of commodes]
  SALESMAN: [condescendingly] Yes . . .well, then there’s this pair of Louis XV commodes. Louis appreciated graceful lines.
  SAMANTHA: He must have. He had three wives.
  SALESMAN: [ignoring her] It’s priced at a mere 600 dollars.
  SAMANTHA: [honeyed sarcasm] Say, that is mere, isn’t it?
  SALESMAN: [annoyed] Madam, this is a tremendous steal.
  SAMANTHA: It sure is, when you consider what it cost originally.
  SALESMAN: [coolly] Originally when?
  SAMANTHA: [covering] Originally er . . .when . . .Louis was marrying all those wives.
• Episode: Beginning with the lines about the Louis XV commodes, the rest of the lines are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: I’m not that interested . . . .[smiles] only fascinated.
  SALESMAN: [temptingly] Isn’t a chair that fastenating worth 50 dollars?
  SAMANTHA: Well . . . .
  SALESMAN: [quickly] It’s yours for 25 bucks.
  SAMANTHA: [quickly] Okay, I’ll take it.
• Episode: The Salesman’s offer of 50 dollars and Samantha’s reply are cut.

ACT I

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Darrin struggles to move the chair. Samantha enters].
  SAMANTHA: What’s wrong?
  DARRIN: This chair is really heavy. [Samantha easily lifts the chair and hands it to him]
• Episode: Darrin struggles with the chair by himself. Samantha is not in the scene.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin pushes the chair into the den. He maneuvers it around to see where it will look best. He finally sits in it. The chair tosses him out. He feels the seat and sits again. After a few beats the chair tosses him again. He falls down and groans. Samantha rushes in.]
  SAMANTHA: Darling, are you hurt?
  DARRIN: Only when I move. [Samantha sees the broken legs] A terrible thing. I sat in it. [gets up] As an expert on furniture, I’d say the front legs are broken.
  SAMANTHA: But it seemed in such good condition. [Samantha examines the chair].
  DARRIN: Honey, forget about it . . .we don’t have time . . .the Cosgroves will . . .[Samantha snaps the legs back into place]
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, look . . . .
  DARRIN: How’d you do that?
  SAMANTHA: [a shrug] Apparently it has hinged legs or something. Anyway, it’s fine now.
• Episode: Darrin does not move the chair around. He sits in it and the chair tosses him out. He does not sit in it again. All of the above lines are cut. The scene ends with Darrin staring at the chair.

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script:
  ADELAIDE: [sharply] I know about your campaign. Don’t talk business at dinner.
  MAX: [anxiously] Lovely, tell them about Hong Kong.
  Adelaide: Yes, in Hong Kong, we saw the most darling . . . . .Chinese vase with birds and flowers and little people in bathrobes.
  LOUISE: [aside to Samantha] Bathrobes?
  ADELAIDE: From the Zing dynasty, no less.
  MAX: [proudly] She’s so smart. Counts in Chinese up to seven.
  ADELAIDE: Well, they wanted a fortune, but they couldn’t pull the wool over my eyes.
  MAX: Isn’t that clever. She’s really amazing.
  DARRIN: [forced enthusiasm] I was just going to say that.
  LARRY: [taking the cue, also forced] So was I. Great minds but with a single thought eh? [Adelaide accepts the accolade as due her. Louise and Samantha exchange a glance].
  [forced heartiness] Yes sir, boy! [to Adelaide] Do go on. [he flashes a look at Darrin]
  DARRIN: [half hearted] By all means.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Adelaide spots the chair and gestures dramatically]
  ADELAIDE: Stop! Don’t anybody move! [deprecating admiration] Max, will you look at that chair. [Max looks at it blankly. The others look at each other puzzled] Is that something?
  MAX: Well to be perfectly honest . . . .sweetheart . . . .
  ADELAIDE: [cutting in] Who recognizes values in an instant? I can tell you this chair . . . .this is something!! [Adelaide examines the chair, closer. Larry tries to maneuver Max to the side].
  LARRY: Max, let’s talk some business.
  MAX: [anxious to get away from Adelaide] Fine, fine. [Adelaide grabs Max by the arm]
  ADELAIDE: Max, darling, think! Doesn’t this chair remind you of the one my father had? [pointedly] Before he made all the money I inherited after we were married . . .[dripping with honey] beloved?
  MAX: [disgruntledly] I guess so, lovepot.
  LOUISE: [aside to Samantha] “Beloved” . . . .”lovepot” . . .makes you kind of misty doesn’t it?
  SAMANTHA: [a scolding whisper] Louise!
• Episode: Other than examining the chair, the entire scene is cut.

Tabatha’s Room:

• Script: Samantha has heard a noise and goes to check on Tabatha. She enters the room and pulls the blanket up around Tabatha. She exits.
• Episode: Samantha opens the door and looks in. She does not enter the room.

ACT II

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: {Samantha has asked Darrin to come home; something about the chair. He enters].
  DARRIN: Sam, what’s wrong?
  SAMANTHA: Hi honey [pointing at the chair] Look!
  DARRIN: Great! You found another one?
  SAMANTHA: It’s not another one.
  DARRIN: It looks the same to me. Besides, the Cosgroves won’t know the difference.
  SAMNTHA: Darrin, it’s not [special emphasis] “another one”. It’s the same chair.
  DARRIN: You’re kidding.
  SAMANTHA: No.
  DARRIN: How did it get here?
  SAMANTHA: [seriously] Walked, I guess.
  DARRIN: That’s ridiculous, a chair walking from the Cosgroves.
  SAMANTHA: It’s only six blocks.
  DARRIN: Honey, are you trying to tell me something?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, I think that chair is bewitched.
  DARRIN: I was right. It is a spooky chair [wearily] Okay, is it one of your relatives?
  SAMANTHA: Absolutely not! None of my relatives are in furniture.
  DARIN: Sam!
  SAMANTHA: We - -ll……
  DARRIN: All right, what is it?
  SAMANTHA: I don’t know. [Darrin approaches the chair carefully]
  DARRIN: Is it dangerous? [The chair kicks out at him. He jumps onto the couch]. It hates me. Do something!
  SAMANTHA: I can’t until I know for sure what it is.
  DARRIN: What are going to do? . . .we can’t give it back to the Cosgroves.
• Episode: The above scene is cut and replaced with the following scene:
  SAMANTHA: Mother! Mother!. You’re always around when I don’t need you, but When I do . . .[Endora POPS in].
  ENDORA: What is that racket?
  SAMANTHA: Darrin. I had to tell him about the chair, now he’s in the study fighting with it.
  ENDORA: What do you want me to do? Referee?
  SAMANTHA: Well there must be something. I told you it was a spooky chair. And whoever or whatever it is absolutely hates Darrin.
  ENDORA: We can’t hold that against it, now can we?
  SAMANTHA: You don’t suppose it could be one of our relatives?
  ENDORA: None of our relatives are into furniture.
  SAMANTHA: Well, it’s causing all sorts of trouble. Now I can’t give it back to the Cosgroves if it’s bewitched. What am I going to do?
  ENDORA: Nothing!
  SAMANTHA: Nothing?
  ENDORA: Not a thing. Until we know what it is.

Cosgrove’s House:

• Script: DARRIN: The chair was bought at an auction in Boston, five years ago.
• Episode: Darrin’s line is changed to : “It was bought at an auction in Boston at the turn of the century”. Added is:
  SAMANTHA: Which one?
  DARRIN: Sam!!
  
  
• Script: [Samantha’s spell to return the chair to a person]
  SAMANTHA:

Chair of cloth and wood and grain,
Become a human once again.

• Episode: “Once” is changed to, “Being”.

EPISODE TRAILER

Cosgrove’s House:

• Script: The script continues ACT II through to the point where the duplicate chair kicks Darrin.
• Episode: At the point where Samantha comes in with the duplicate chair, the episode breaks from ACT II and begins the TRAILER. Dialog in the script and episode are the same through the scene where the duplicate chair kicks Darrin. The episode Ends.

SCRIPT TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN: Honey, what was that chair?
  SAMANTHA: Which one?
  DARRIN: The spooky one.
  SAMANTHA: Just an unhappy someone I knew a long time ago.
  DARRIN: He’d have to be pretty unhappy to want to be turned into a chair. Was he a boyfriend?
  SAMANTHA: Not really.
  DARRIN: He won’t cause any more trouble will he?
  SAMANTHA: No, we had a talk and it’s all straightened out.
  DARRIN: Sam, do you think you’d ever want to be a chair?
  SAMANTHA: Never, a love seat is more fun. [she turns out the lights]
• Episode: None of the above is used.

# 91, Sam in the Moon

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: After Darrin says, "With her nothing's impossible," the scene shifts to the kitchen. Samantha is taking things out of the refrigerator while she and Darrin discuss what she did before she met Darrin, and if she had ever been to the moon. Samantha never gives Darrin a direct answer, until she finally tells him she used to go there for picnics. Darrin leaves to go to Larry's. Endora enters and berates Samantha about her housework, finally asking Samantha to go shopping with her.
• Episode: The scene is cut up to the part where Endora enters. The part with Endora is cut slightly and moved to after the scene in Larry's den.

Japanese Shop:

• Episode: The lines are the same as the script, but the scene is moved to after the first part in the Tate's den.

Tate's Den:

• Script: Calls for Darrin to ask Larry about watching the moon shot. Larry is more interested in the golf match. Darrin starts to leave by backing into the closet.
• Episode: The part of the discussion where Darrin asks Larry to change to the moon shot is omitted. The bit with Darrin backing into the closet is moved to after the scene in the Japanese store.

Stephens Living Room:

• Script: Samantha is home from Japan. Just before Darrin enters, Samantha looks at her watch.
• Episode: Samantha does not wear a watch.
  NOTE: Samantha is never shown wearing a watch in any episode.
  
  
• Script: Before Samantha enters the living room, she wipes dust from the underside of the stair railing and smears it on her face.
• Episode: Samantha zaps the dirt onto her face.
  
  
• Script: Samantha asks Darrin about the rest of the moon shot, and what the astronauts saw.
• Episode: Omitted.
• Episode: After Samantha says "to the moon" and storms up the stairs, Darrin's line, "One of these days…" is added.

Drug Store:

• Script: Darrin asks the druggist to analyze the "moon dust" and "moon tea". The druggist tells Darrin that since this is of National importance, that he does not have a security clearance.
• Episode: After Darrin says "thank you", the rest of the scene is about the security clearance is cut.

Stephens Living Room:

• Script: Darrin's dream starts with him ready to go out, and Samantha begging him not to go.
• Episode: That scene is cut, and the dream begins in the NASA office.
  
  
• Script: During Darrin's conversation, the phone rings. The NASA officer has a conversation with someone, plainly of importance, about the success of the moon shot having a bearing on the coming election.
• Episode: Omitted.

Stephens Living Room:

• Script: Calls for Samantha to say that she and Endora went to Japan where it was Saturday (incorrect).
• Episode: Samantha says they went to Japan where it was Monday (correct).

Stephens Living Room:

• Script: After the druggist calls to say he is on the way, Darrin asks Samantha to go upstairs until he can get her out of the mess he has gotten into. He continues carrying about the Japanese warlock tea. Finally, Samantha tells him she knows a way out.
• Episode: Omitted.

# 92, HoHo the Clown

TEASER

Stephens' Entry Hall:

• Script: The scene opens with Samantha's line, "Don't squirm, darling. Let Mommy button all the buttons."
• Episode: Opening is Samantha's added line, "We are going to have such fun."

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Calls for Samantha to look for the tickets on the hall table.
• Episode: Samantha looks only in the living room.
  
  
• Script: Endora has the line, "A Drama by Shakespeare, perhaps, but - - -"
• Episode: "Ho Ho ! Hee Hee! Ha Ha!" Is added to the line.
  
  
• Script: Endora has the line, "But I flew over to play with my baby."
• Episode: "Baby" is changed to "Granddaughter".

ACT I

Television Studio:

• Script: Calls for a small studio with folding chairs for the audience. Opens with Endora's line, "Is that Hobo the clown?". Several lines later HoHo has the line, "Are you sure this is how Richard Burton started?"
• Episode: Tiered bleacher seats are used instead of folding chairs in this and all studio scenes. Opens with HoHo's line about Richard Burton, followed by Endora's line about "Hobo".
  
  
• Script: After Endora's line, "He's revolting", the scene cuts to Darrin's office where he watches HoHo say, "And now boys and girls - - - -"
• Episode: After Endora's, "He's revolting line" line, HoHo has the line added, "Okay boys and girls on with the show" before the switch to Darrin's office.

Darrin's Office:

• Script: Has Darrin listening to HoHo's "on with the show" line.
• Episode: Opens with Larry entering.

Television Studio:

• Script: HoHo hands out Clown shaped balloons.
• Episode: HoHo hands out standard round balloons with picture on them.

Darrin's Office:

• Script: Larry and Darrin watch the announcer read a commercial about an "Atomic Andy" toy. Larry thinks it is a terrific commercial. Darrin says it because Larry wrote it.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Darrin's Office:

• Script: Larry, "As a personal favor to a vice-president."
• Episode: Line is changed to, "As a personal favor to the president of the company".

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Opens with the phone ringing.
• Episode: Opens with an added line by Samantha about Tabitha wanting milk.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Samantha to zap Tabitha and herself into dress clothes, followed by the line by Samantha, "Immediately.".
• Episode: Samantha's line is changed to [to Tabitha], "A little fast for you.".

Television Studio:

• Script: Calls for folding chairs. Darrin has the line, "I'm sitting with Larry in the sponsor's booth."
• Episode: Line is changed from "Sponsor's booth" to "Control room".
  
  
• Script: Larry refers to HoHo's slogan as one of the best in the history of advertising.
• Episode: This line is cut.
  
  
• Script: HoHo plays with Tabitha.
• Episode: HoHo has the line about not playing with his nose added.

Sponsor's Booth:

• Script: Called the "Sponsor's Booth".
• Episode: Called the "Control Room". In between Solow's lines about "That's un-American, and who is she?", there are cuts to Samantha and Tabitha added.

ACT II

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: The scene opens with Samantha saying "Sweetheart".
• Episode: The address is changed to "Darrin".
  
  
• Script: After Samantha's line about going to the zoo, Darrin sternly says, "Samantha", to which she replies, "Yes, dear".
• Episode: Samantha's "Yes dear" line is changed to her well known, "Weeeell".
  
  
• Script: Darrin asks what took Samantha so long in Paris, and she does not answer.
• Episode: She replies, "I couldn't find a cab."

Exterior of the Stephens' House:

• Script: Gladys and Abner are shown approaching the Stephens' house. Gladys is planning to ask Darrin something.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Samantha and Darrin are as in the previous scene.
  
  REVIEWER'S NOTE: Since this scene is drastically changed in the episode, the script is given verbatum:
  
  SAMANTHA: Now I'll try Rome. You wait right here.
  Samantha POPS OUT. The front doorbell rings. Preoccupied with his troubles, Darrin ignores the fact that Samantha is "in transit", rises, crosses to the door, and opens it. In walks Gladys.
  GLADYS: Excuse us for disturbing you, but . . . . .
  Gladys stops in mid-sentence.... as before her very eyes.... IN POPS Samantha.
  SAMANTHA: She's not in Rome either. [sees Gladys] Oops!
  GLADYS: [a shriek of terror] Eek!
  Into the room steps Abner.
  ABNER: [to the Stephens'] Howdy, folks.
  Gladys turns to her husband in agitated incredulity.
  GLADYS: Abner, did you see it, did you see it?
  ABNER: Did I see what?
  GLADYS: Mrs. Stephens just materialized out of thin air!
  ABNER: [wearily] Gladys, don't waste time with chit chat, and get to the point.
  GLADYS: But----But---
  ABNER: I said get to the point. [to the Stephens] She saw Tabitha on the "HoHo the Clown" program.
  SAMANTHA: She did?
  ABNER: She never misses it. You've heard of the viewer with the ten-year-old mentality? Meet the viewer with the five-year-old mentality.
  SAMANTHA: [to Darrin, smiling] That's good for the ratings, isn't it dear? Darrin looks at her - - -unsmilingly - - then turns to the guests.
  DARRIN: Mr. and Mrs. Kravitz, would you mind coming back later? I have a sick headache.
  GLADYS: This will only take a second.
  ABNER: [to Darrin] She wants to ask you a favor.
  DARRIN: Yes, Mrs. Kravitz?
  GLADYS: Didn't you once tell us that your advertising agency is connected with the morning quiz show "Build Your Castle?"
  DARRIN: I may have. Why?
  GLADYS: Well, neighbor, as long as you're not squeamish about using your influence, I'd like you to arrange for me to be on it. We need a new refigerator.
  SAMANTHA: Mrs. Kravitz, I'm afraid you - - -
  GLADYS: I'd also appreciate a guest shot for my cousin Minnie. She needs a deluxe rotisserie.
  A pause....then Abner addresses Darrin.
  ABNER: Are you insulted?
  DARRIN: Yes.
  ABNER: [to Gladys] There. You see?
  GLADYS: [confused] I don't get it. He put in the fix for his daughter.
  DARRIN: [vehemently] I did not put in the fix. I had nothing to do with it.
  Samantha puts a restraining hand on his arm.
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, take it easy.
  DARRIN: [quietly, grimly] I did not put in the fix. I had nothing to do with it.
  GLADYS: Then how come Tabitha won the HoHo Hope Chest two days in a row?
  DARRIN: For the simple reason that my mother-in-law----
  SAMANTHA: [cutting him off] It was all a big mix-up, and it will never happen again.
  GLADYS: On "Build Your Castle" too, or just on "HoHo the Clown"?
  SAMANTHA: On any program my honest husband is involved in.
  GLADYS: [hurt] Oh. I see!
  ABNER: [to the Stephens] Thank you for your patience. [to Gladys] Come on darling, let's go over to cousin Minnie's and break the bad news.
  
  
• Episode: This scene is cut completely and replaced with the telephone conversation between Darrin and Gladys. This gets the point across, but shortens the scene and removes the Kravitz's from the episode.

Exterior Street Outside of 1164:

• Script: Abner and Gladys are shown going home as HoHo approaches wearing orange slacks and a yellow sweater, and carrying clown shaped balloons.
• Episode: The scene deletes the Kravitz's and starts with HoHo nearing the front door. He wears a loud green shirt and plaid trousers.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: HoHo, "I hope so, honey, I hope so."
• Episode: The line is changed to: "I know, you can't be on all of the time."
  
  
• Script: HoHo refers to the pony as a "he".
• Episode: The pony is referred to as a "she".
  
  
• Script: After Endora takes the spell off of HoHo, he has the line, "You seen one kid, you've seen them all."
• Episode: HoHo has lines added about "Did he bring a pony, and where is his pony?".
  
  
• Script: Larry has lines about his golf game that Mr. Solow interrupted.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: Darrin, "Larry, are you going to pretend you - - -"
• Episode: Darrin's line is extended, "Knew nothing about this?". Larry, "- -Yes."
  
  
• Script: HoHo, "You can't do that to the children of America. Besides, I have a contract."
• Episode: "Besides, I have a contract", is cut. Larry has lines added about there being no alternative, and that Darrin is fired.

TRAILER

Exterior of 1164:

• Script: Darrin turns his car into the driveway, gets out, and hurries into the house.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: After Samantha's line about HoHo revealing the publicity stunt, Darrin has the lines about the viewers getting a free doll. Then Darrin turns on the TV set.
• Episode: Darrin turns on the TV set as soon as he comes in. In between Samantha and Darrin's lines, the bit about getting Tabitha seated into the chair, the scene of HoHo on TV, and the cuts to Tabitha clapping, are added.

Television Studio:

• Script: Scene of HoHo beginning his show.
• Episode: The scene is cut.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Samantha and Darrin have a conversation about Samantha getting Darrin in and out of trouble.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

# 93, Super Car

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Calls for Samantha to be making popovers.
• Episode: She makes strawberry waffles.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Endora to POP in and sit on the refrigerator.
• Episode: Endora POPS in and sits on the kitchen/dining room pass thru.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: Find out when she’s leaving. Then I’ll relax.
  ENDORA: But you haven’t asked me how I made out in the surfing finals in Hawaii. I’ll tell you anyway. I lost by a fraction of a point. And if I’d used a surf board, I’d have walked away with it.
  DARRIN: [glaring] Yuck! [he exits to living room].
  SAMANTHA: [unhappily] Mother . . . .
  ENDORA: [sniffing] Typical mortal. Can’t be jealous without showing it.
  SAMANTHA: Mother . . .once and for all will you please try to understand something? I love Darrin. I’m married to him and I’m going to stay married to him. Forever. And if you really care about me, you’ll accept him and try to be nice to him.
  ENDORA: [taking refuge in self-pity] That’s children for you. You work and slave to bring them up. And then in your old age, they want to rob you of the little pleasure you have.
  SAMANTHA: Mother . . . .
• Episode: After Darrin’s first line, the rest is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Darrin is seated on the sofa with a magazine called, “Progressive X Cars”. In the background we see Samantha urging a reluctant Endora into the dining room from the kitchen.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Please mother, just once do something nice for him.
  ENDORA: All right, all right. But why can’t it wait till later?
  SAMANTHA: Like When?
  ENDORA: Christmas is always a good time to make up.
• Episode: After Samantha’s first line, the rest is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Darrin is looking at an article called, ” Cars of the Future”].
  ENDORA: Oh, isn’t that a darling!
  DARRIN: No, it’s the MAKO MARK II.
• Episode: The car is called the, “REACTOR MARK II”. [Reviewer’s note: Throughout the script the car is referred to as the MAKO MARK II. In the Episode it is always the REACTOR MARK II.]

ACT I

Stephens’ Driveway:

• Script: [Darrin walks around the car, examining it].
  SAMANTHA: It’s beautiful. [to Endora] That was very sweet of you and I appreciate it. [Darrin sits in the car and presses a button. The flip top roof opens. He presses another button and the hood and front fenders lower] Oh, dear. You broke it!
  DARRIN: No, it all works electrically. This car makes the bat car look like a skateboard.. [Darrin continues to experiment with the retractable tail fins, the control panel that looks like an IBM computer, the retractable rear bumper, the enclosed headlights, and the adjustable headrest].
• Episode: The lines basically follow the script with only Samantha’s lines to Endora about appreciating the gift, and the, ”You broke it”, lines being cut. The action is completely different. Darrin opens the roof and door before getting in the car. The hood and front fenders do not lower. The, “IBM computer” is changed to, “radar”. “Retractable fins” are changed to, “Hydraulic suspension”. The rear bumper does not move, and neither do the headlights. The headrest is not shown to move.

In Front of the Stephens’ House:

• Script: [Darrin drives the car carefully to the curb]
  DARRIN: [to Samantha] How far am I on that side?
  SAMANTHA: You’re about a foot away.
  DARRIN: Like riding on a cloud, isn’t it?
  SAMANTHA: Well, actually, I’ve been on some clouds that were a lot rougher.
• Episode: SAMANTHA: [her line is changed to] You’re about two feet away. [The last two lines are cut]
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: Would you like to get behind the wheel?
  SAMANTHA: You mean . . .you’d let me?
  DARRIN: Of course. Come on, slide over. [Darrin gets out, goes around to the passenger side and gets in, as Samantha slides over to the driver’s seat]. Honey, those high heels – maybe you ought to take your shoes off. [She slips her shoes off, then reaches for the ignition key].
• Episode: Samantha does not slide over. She gets out and goes around the car to the driver’s side. Darrin does not move from beside the driver’s door. Added to Darrin’s shoe line is, “Those high heels might ruin the carpet”. Samantha has the line added, “ I’m not wearing high heels”, and she does not take her shoes off.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: . . . .After about ten thousand miles or so. [looking o. s.] Hey, kid, would you mind doing that somewhere else? [A boy of about eight is standing on the sidewalk eating an ice cream cone and looking at the car. He moves off.]
  SAMANTHA: He wasn’t anywhere near the car.
  DARRIN: I’m not taking any chances.
• Episode: The bit, and lines about the boy and the ice cream are cut.
  
  
• Script: [He gets out of the car and starts for the house. He stops when he sees Samantha following him].
  DARRIN: Oh, hon, I think one of us ought to stay with the car.
  SAMANTHA: What for?
  DARRIN: To protect it. People are always curious about a car like this and before you know it, you’ve got fingerprints all over the finish.
  SAMANTHA: But . . .
  DARRIN: I’ll just call Larry and then I’ll come out and relieve you. [He dashes into the house singing, “See the USA, in your MAKO MARK II . . .’ as Samantha looks after him.
• Episode: He starts for the house. Samantha just sits with her head in her hands. All of the lines from this scene are cut.

Entry Hall:

• Script: [As Darrin heads back outside after calling Larry, the door opens and Samantha enters].
  DARRIN: [in alarm] You didn’t leave the car alone!
  SAMANTHA: I just wanted to run upstairs for a moment and check the baby.
  DARRIN: Oh!
  SAMANTHA: You remember her, don’t you? Tabatha, your daughter?
  DARRIN: Don’t be ridiculous!
  SAMANTHA: Well, it’s your day off, and you haven’t paid the slightest attention to her.
  DARRIN: I’m going to! I’m going to! I just want to get the car into the garage before the dew starts to form.
  SAMANTHA: Dew? At three o’clock in the afternoon?
  DARRIN: You never know when there might be an early dew. [starts out, then stops]. Say, I’m going to have a little problem getting license plates, you know. I mean, being a magic car, naturally, there’s no serial number. Oh, well, I’ll think of something. [He starts out again, stops and regards Endora with a loving smile as she enters from the living room] Hello, Mother. Are you comfortable? Everything Okay? [to Samantha] Be nice to her. You only have one mother. [he exits]
  ENDORA: He seems to have flipped his cork.
  SAMANTHA: You’ve made a conquest. There’s no quicker way to a man’s heart than with a new car. Especially a 425 horsepower fastback with a teardrop silhouette.
  ENDORA: Hmmmm . . .A car like that could actually be a threat to a woman, couldn’t it?
  SAMANTHA: Not really. Let him try to warm his feet on it.
• Episode: The entire above scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN: Oh, no. You mean it came from Detroit?
  ENDORA: Where do you think it came from – heaven?
• Episode: ENDORA: [her line is changed] Where do you think it came from – the stork brought it?

ACT II

Mardi Gras:

• Script: [Samantha has been calling Endora and not getting any reply. Endora is shown in a crowd of people with someone shouting in her ear].
  ENDORA: I can’t hear a thing.
• Episode: The scene at the Mardi Gras and Endora’s line are cut.

Stephens’ Garage:

• Script:
  LARRY: What are you trying to say?
  DARRIN: Well, since you asked, I’ve got a few questions about that slogan.
  LARRY: [pointedly] Darrin, I think it’s one of the most effective I ever came up with.
  DARRIN: [firmly] Larry, with all due respect - - -
  LARRY: And Mr. Sheldrake agrees.
• Episode: After Larry’s first line, the rest is cut.

Stephens’ House:

• Script: DARRIN: Have a nice trip. [Samantha steps back from Darrin and POPS out].
• Episode: Added is Samantha POPPING back in for a quick kiss and POPPING out again.

Mardi Gras:

• Script: [Samantha threads her way through the crowd. She sees the rear view of a woman who looks like Endora. Samantha approaches her from the back]
  SAMANTHA: Mother, you’ve got to help me!
  WOMAN: [As she turns, revealing a perfectly strange woman] I’d be glad to dearie, but I don’t have a daughter.
• Episode: This scene is cut.
  
  
• Script: [Samantha cautiously approaches another woman who might be Endora., and taps her on the shoulder.]
  SAMANTHA: Excuse me, but do you happen to be my mother? [Endora turns and reacts]
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Street in Front of the Stephens’ House:

• Script: [Darrin walks out into the middle of the street and checks both ways]
  DARRIN: Okay, it’s clear!
• Episode: This bit is cut.
  
  
• Script: DARRIN: Uh - - -Larry, I think he went a little farther than we expected.
• Episode: Added is Samantha’s, “Oh, my, stars!”

TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  LARRY: You’re not worried?
  DARRIN: Oh, well, sure I’m worried – but for different reasons. I mean - - -
  SAMANTHA: What Darrin’s trying to say is that his worries are more geographical than financial.
• Episode: Darrin and Samantha’s lines are cut and replaced with Darrin’s line, “I’m not worried. I’m sick!"

# 95, The Trial and Error of Aunt Clara

TEASER

• Script: Calls for an exterior shot of the 1164 facade to establish a slumbering house.
• Episode: No exterior shot.

Stephens' Bedroom:

• Script: Calls for a close shot of Darrin asleep in his bed. Camera pans to Samantha who is also asleep. From another camera angle a glowing ball of light comes bouncing into the room through an open window and heads for Samantha. Samantha stirs, opens her eyes and reacts to the sight of the ball.
• Episode: The scene begins with a medium camera shot of Darrin and Samantha asleep in bed. The camera then pans toward the door where the glowing ball appears and moves to hover over Samantha. Samantha awakens and reacts.
  
  
• Script: After Endora repeats, "Follow me. . . . !" Samantha gets out of bed and puts on a robe and slippers.
• Episode: Samantha does not put on either robe or slippers.
  
  
• Script: After Samantha's line about Tinkerbell, the glowing ball explodes and Endora appears.
• Episode: The ball simply disappears and Endora pops in.

ACT I

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Darrin comes down the stairs carrying his jacket. Samantha hurries into the scene carrying a cup of coffee.
• Episode: The scene begins in the kitchen with Samantha already there with the coffee as Darrin enters with his jacket on.
  
  
• Script: Samantha looks at the wall clock and wiggles her nose. The clock hands move from 8:30 to 9:00.
• Episode: The clock hands move from 8:30 to 9:30.

Stephens' Hall:

• Script: After Samantha says she has a lot of work to do, her lines continue with, "The committee for the Ladies Bazaar is meeting here today".
• Episode: The second line is cut.

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: After Aunt Clara comes out of the basement she is dusty and dirty. Samantha hands her a kitchen towel.
• Episode: Samantha ZAPS Aunt Clara clean.
  
  
• Script: Samantha and Aunt Clara are seated in the kitchen. After Clara's line, "She should have told me we were hunting for birds", the conversation continues with Samantha suggesting that Clara not go to the Montague's for a while and Clara replying that she wouldn't go there for the next hundred years. Clara continues with how she has had a good life and some happy times, and now her powers are failing. She concludes with the statement that perhaps she should be earthbound.
• Episode: The continuation of the conversation up to where Clara says she should be earthbound is cut.
  
  
• Script: After Clara picks up her shoes, she exits with great dignity.
• Episode: A bit is added about Clara bumbling and bumping into the door frame.

Darrin's Office:

• Script: Darrin, on the phone to Larry, says the file he wants is in the top right drawer of the desk. As the conversation ends, Darrin has the line, "And listen, speaking of a raise . . . .Hello? Hello?"
• Episode: Darrin says bottom right drawer. The "And listen . . . . ." line is cut.

Stephens' Entry:

• Script: Samantha sees the desk on the stairway, and gestures toward the desk with her head to Clara.
• Episode: Clara spots the desk first and nods to Samantha at the desk. Samantha then takes Larry to the patio.

Patio:

• Script: Samantha and Larry discuss how crowded colleges are and that Larry's boy has been turned down by five schools already, even though he is going on three. Samantha feels that there are too many distractions in a co-ed college.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

Stephens' Hallway:

• Script: As Clara starts up the stairs she sees the desk. Clara then picks up a folder marked "GANZER GARAGE DOOR ACCOUNT". Not knowing which papers fell out of it, she grabs a handful of papers and stuffs them into the folder. Clara then ZAPS the desk back to the den.
• Episode: Clara had already seen the desk. The bit about picking up scattered papers and stuffing them into a folder is cut. Clara ZAPS the desk back to the den.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Endora arrives. After Samantha tells her that she is acting like a human being, Endora has the following lines, "My dear, don't be so self righteous. It's unbecoming. Now where on earth are Hagatha and Enchantra. I wish they'd hurry up. I have a cocktail party in Khartoun".
• Episode: Endora's lines are cut. [REVIEWER'S NOTE: All through the aired episode Endora keeps referring to having to go somewhere and is going to be late. These cut lines explain where she was going and why she was in such a hurry].

ACT II

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: The car is still in the living room. Hagatha and Enchantra wear incredible hats. The Judge is described as tall and lean with long flowing white hair.
• Episode: The car disappears at the end of the first act. Hagatha and Enchantra do not wear hats. The Judge is neither tall nor lean, and while he does have white hair, it is not long and flowing.
  
  
• Script: Hagatha and Enchantra embrace Clara. Hagatha wants to know where "What's-his-name" is. Samantha replies that Darrin is at work. Hagatha tells the Judge that Darrin is human. The Judge is not pleased.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: After Enchantra's line, "We're going to start before we have tea?", Hagatha tells her to be quiet and asks Clara if she is ready. Clara miserably says she is all right. Hagatha tells her to stop blubbering, that there are certain advantages to being earthbound.
• Episode: Hagatha and Clara's lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: After Hagatha says, "Shall we begin, Your Honor?", the Judge replies, " Very well". He raises his hand, the lights lower, the Courtroom setting appears, and the Judge is now attired in a judicial robe. The Judge tells Hagatha to proceed, and she intones, "Hear ye, hear ye, Witches Coven. . . . ." The Judge mounts to the bench and says to call the first case. Samantha notes that there is only one case. The Judge reaches into the air and produces a gavel.
• Episode: After the Judge replies, "Very well", he has a line added, "Ladies, if you would stand". He produces the Courtroom setting, then goes through the bit about getting Clara seated on the stand. The Judge dons his robes, seats himself on the bench and intones the "Hear ye, Hear ye, Witches Coven . . . ." lines. The lines about the first and only case are cut. The Judge does not produce the gavel. It came with the setting.
  
  
• Script: After Hagatha reads the charges, The Judge asks Clara how she pleads? The following is from the script as it is written:
  
  JUDGE: [to Clara] How do you plead?
  CLARA: Why, I . . .uh . . .
  SAMANTHA: My client pleads not guilty.
  CLARA: Oh, I wish I'd thought of that!
  JUDGE: [to Endora] Is the Coven ready?
  ENDORA: Yes, your Honor. [low to Samantha] If I'm late to that cocktail party, I'll scream.
  JUDGE: Let's hear the evidence.
  SAMANTHA: Your honor, may I approach the bench?
  JUDGE: No.
  SAMANTHA: Oh.
  
  The Judge bangs his gavel. Samantha flinches, steps back.
  
  CLARA: [low, as she leans to Samantha] I hope they don't know about the trouble I had with the desk.
  SAMANTHA: [low] I don't think their files are that current.
  JUDGE: The prosecution will proceed. [As he bangs his gavel again]
  
  
• Episode: After Hagatha reads the charges, the remainder of the scene is completely cut. There is a cut to Darrin's office where he is talking to Betty about the folder she copied for him. Script and episode agree. The scene then returns to the trial.
  
  
• Script: Endora is standing, addressing the Judge and then Clara.
  
  ENDORA: [shades of Perry Mason] Isn't it true that you have consistently shown an inability to perform elementary transportation. Don't you bump into walls and doors, instead of simply going through them? Answer yes or no.
  CLARA: [obediently] Yes or no.
  ENDORA: I mean either yes or no.
  CLARA: Oh. Oh, I see. The answer is yes.
  
  The others shake their heads. Endora steps aside. Hagatha rises, faces the Judge.
  
  HAGATHA: Isn't it also true that you have lost the ability to levitate yourself? Don't you come down chimneys, land in closets, and didn't you on one occasion even use a parachute?
  CLARA: [sighs] I'm afraid so.
  
  The others tsk-tsk. Hagatha steps aside. Enchantra rises.
  
  ENCHANTRA: And don't you show an ever-increasing incompetence when it comes to conjuring? Isn't it true that only six weeks ago you tried to produce a stuffed toy and instead produced a live elephant in a living room? In this living room!
  CLARA: I did! I can't deny it. I did.
  
  The others cluck. She steps back, Endora steps forward again. Endora addresses the Judge again.
  
  ENDORA: And that concludes the case for the prosecution.
  
  
• Episode: This entire section down to Endora's line, "And that concludes . . . ." is deleted.
  
  
• Script: As Samantha rises to begin the defense, Endora has the lines, "And please move it along dear. I'll bet there won't be a bit of caviar left by the time I get to Africa."
• Episode: The last line is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  
  SAMANTHA: First, ordinary manipulation. Aunt Clara, make it come to you.
  
  She folds her arms and faces Clara. Thus her back is to the others. Clara faces the test uncertainly. She points her finger at the gavel. Samantha wiggles her nose, and the gavel rises. As imperceptibly as possible, she moves a finger.
  Camera Angle - The Group: as the gavel moves to Clara's hand. No one's more surprised than Clara. Enchantra starts to applaud, but is glared into silence by Hagatha.
  
  SAMANTHA: [continuing] Next. Elementary Transportation. Aunt Clara, go through that wall.
  CLARA: Dear, I really don't think . . . .
  SAMANTHA: You can do it, I know!
  
  Uncertainly Clara faces a wall and starts toward it. She's wincing as she anticipates the crash. As, again, out of sight of the others, Samantha wiggles her nose. As Clara approaches the wall, a cut-out pops out of the wall, in the outlines of Clara, and she walks through it. The cut-out pops back in as soon as she passes through.
  Camera Angle - The others: as they blink, not quite sure what they saw.
  Camera Angle - The wall: as the film is REVERSED, and Clara comes back in.
  
  SAMANTHA: Am I making my point clear?
  ENDORA: [suspiciously] Yes . . . .too clear . . . .
  SAMANTHA: Now let's have Aunt Clara conjure up something.
  
  
• Episode: After the line, ". . .make it come to you", the above scene is cut and replaced with Samantha holding the gavel and making it move by nose twitch alone. Starting with the "Elementary transportation" line through to Samantha's, "Now let's have Aunt Clara conjure . . ." line, the scene is cut.
  
  
• Script: After the Judge says, "The court has reached a verdict. . . .", Enchantra and Hagatha carry on over Clara through Clara's line, "Well, I'll have lots of company, won't I? The scene then switches to Darrin in the Den, with the line about crying after the bazaar.
• Episode: The bit with Darrin in the den is moved up to just after the, "The court has reached a verdict" line.
  
  
• Script: The script calls for everyone to comfort Clara, saying that they will keep in touch, but Clara insists that they have been very fair, and she thanks Samantha for her defense. Endora is still complaining that she will never get out of there. Clara declines a ride with the others and lifts her arms to cast a spell to make herself disappear.
• Episode: The above scene is deleted.

TRAILER

The trailer is presented as written.

# 96, Three Wishes

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: I can’t talk now, Mother. I overslept and Darrin’s breakfast isn’t ready.
  ENDORA: You’ve no idea how it distresses me to see my darling daughter slaving in the kitchen like a measly mortal.
  SAMANTHA: Darrin has to get to an important meeting.
  ENDORA: Let him get his breakfast at the coffee shop downtown.
  SAMANTHA: When he eats down there he can’t resist jelly doughnuts. Jelly doughnuts give him indigestion. When he has indigestion he can’t think straight. When he doesn’t think straight it hurts his client’s business. It’s a chain reaction. I’m doing this to save the national economy.
  ENDORA: Very well. I’ll pitch in and help.
  SAMANTHA: Thanks, Mother. If you’ll just keep an eye on these pancakes.
  ENDORA: I wasn’t thinking of keeping an eye on the pancakes. I was thinking of stopping the world until you catch up.
  SAMANTHA: No! Don’t - - -but you know that look men get on their faces when their breakfast isn’t ready.
  ENDORA: Leave Darwin to me.
• Episode: After Samantha’s first line the scene is cut except for Endora’s offer to help and Samantha’s “No! Don’t - -“

Stephens’ Kitchen: [a little later]

• Script: [Samantha is glaring at Endora].
  SAMANTHA: If witchcraft is the only thing that will stop you from using witchcraft on Darrin . . .I’ll hurry breakfast. [She TWITCHES, and an entire breakfast POPS on the table].
  ENDORA: [pleased] Now you’re acting like a sensible housewife.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

END TEASER

ACT I

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script:
  DARRIN: [a little madder] It’s the principle of the thing.
  SAMANTHA: I have a million things to do while you’re gone.
  DARRIN: [steamier] If they don’t want to take their wives, that’s their business. But we won’t be working twenty-four hours a day. If I want to take my wife, it should be my business.
  SAMANTHA: [smiles] Let’s just regard the situation as a business responsibility.
  DARRIN: [weakening] Well - - -I’ve always regarded myself as a responsible man.
  SAMANTHA: If you really want me to go I could turn myself into some adhesive tape and stick so close to you that - -
• Episode: [Except for the first and last lines, the scene is deleted. The last line is changed to]:
  SAMANTHA: If you really want me to go, I could change myself into a necktie and really hang around you.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: What do you mean, performance?
  ENDORA: Practically jumping up and down screaming he won’t go without you. He had no intention of taking you.
  SAMANTHA: The only reason he isn’t taking me is because the clients aren’t taking their wives.
  ENDORA: If there’s one thing I know it’s how deceitful these mortals can be.
  SAMANTHA: You heard him. He said it over and over again.
  ENDORA: And the minute you said you’d go, he said no.
  SAMANTHA: Only because he hates magic.
• Episode: Other than Samantha’s first line, the above lines are cut.

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: ENDORA: I’m curious. I’m really curious to see what his second wish will be.
• Episode: SAMANTHA: [added line] Oh, you are evil.

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: Buffy enters. She smiles toward the chair behind Darrin’s desk not realizing that he is standing beside her. She looks through her glasses to see where the chair is, then puts them in her pocket.
• Episode: The lines are as in the script. The action differs somewhat. Darrin starts out behind his desk, not beside Buffy. When Buffy takes her glasses off she holds them in her hand.

END ACT I

ACT II

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha is peering out the window as Endora POPS into the scene].
  ENDORA: Looking for someone?
  SAMANTHA: I heard a car and thought it might be Darrin.
  ENDORA: May I call your attention to the fact that it is ten o’clock.
  SAMANTHA: So what?
  ENDORA: Did I hear a door slam? Ah, yes. There’s your romantic mortal.
  SAMANTHA: He said it would be around nine or ten. I don’t expect him to come home and punch a time clock.
  ENDORA: Considering how long you’ve been married, you still have a lot to learn about mortals.
• Episode: The above lines are cut. Samantha has the table set up on the patio and has to come in to answer the phone. Endora does not POP into the scene until after Samantha has answered the phone.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Darrin has just told Samantha that he cannot get a plane home that night. Samantha hangs up the phone and the scene shifts to Darrin’s Boston hotel room.
• Episode: After Samantha hangs up; the following lines are added:
  SAMANTHA: [to Endora] Want to stay for dinner?
  ENDORA: What are we eating - - -Crow?

Stephens’ Living Room/Hotel Room: [intercut]

• Script: [Buffy answers the phone without removing her blinders].
  SAMANTHA: May I speak to Mr. Stephens, please.
  BUFFY: He isn’t here. You see, the hotel was very crowded and I didn’t have a place to stay so he gave his room to me so I wouldn’t have to stand around in the lobby listening to all those jokes.
• Episode: Buffy’s lines are cut to, “He isn’t here”.

Stephens’ Living Room: [the next afternoon]

• Script: Darrin has just arrived home. Samantha is dusting and totally ignores him. She lifts a chair and drops one leg on his foot. When she dusts something, she shakes the dust in his face.
• Episode: The lines follow the script, but the action is somewhat changed. Samantha drops a table leg on his foot. She does not do as much dusting, but does more stacking magazines. Finally she holds a pillow between them.

Stephens’ Entry:

• Script: Samantha materializes in her flying suit, suitcase in hand.
• Episode: Samantha materializes. The suitcases are on the floor beside her. Added is:
  DARRIN: What’s that.
  SAMANTHA: My flying suit.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN: For one week! [Endora vanishes. Samantha goes into Darrin’s arms].
  SAMANTHA: Never mind the last wish.
• Episode: [Endora vanishes. Samantha stays where she is] [Added is]:
  DARRIN: Wish # 3 - - -about that flying suit . . . .
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, never mind the wish. It’s on the house! [the flying suit disappears. Samantha is in her normal clothes. She goes to Darrin and TWTICHES the suitcases upstairs. They kiss].

END ACT II

TRAILER

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: Darrin wishes for a good hot shower. He vanishes into the bathroom. Samantha jumps up and races to the bathroom door.
• Episode: Samantha remains in bed with a horrified expression. Darrin appears in the bathroom doorway, sopping wet. Samantha cannot suppress a laugh at the FADE OUT.

# 97, I Remember You…Sometimes

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN: - - -I couldn’t remember the man’s name. And he knew it!
  SAMANTHA: [sympathetically] Oh, darling.
  DARRIN: I stood there like an . . .I –don’t -know –what - - -[pointing to his temple] - -completely blank - - nothing. Murder!
  SAMANTHA: But, darling, that happens to everybody at one time or another. It’s natural.
  DARRIN: Not when you’re in the advertising agency business, it isn’t, and definitely not with a client. You should have seen Larry’s face.
• Episode: Except for Darrin’s first line, and Samantha’s line about “it happens to everyone”, these lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: SAMANTHA: [reading] “Instant Memory Can Be Yours”.
• Episode: DARRIN: [added line] I bought the book and read the first two chapters on the train on the way home.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: [continues] And it’s going to be! . . .You know, Samantha, it’s been established that there’s such a thing as total recall and, with training, it’s theoretically possible to remember everything! . . .no matter how trivial . . .how long ago.
  SAMANTHA: That’s nice, darling.
  DARRIN: Really, Samantha! With total recall you could remember a whole course you took in college - - a magazine you read in the dentist’s office - - a baseball game you saw as a kid - -the little girl who sat in back of you in kindergarten.
  SAMANTHA: [pretending jealousy] Was she pretty? Were you in love with her?
  DARRIN: I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. By the time I finish with this book, I’ll remember everything. But everything!
  SAMANTHA: [a little concerned] Darling, I’m sure it’s also been established that there are some things that are very convenient to forget . . .
  DARRIN: I told you! Not in my business. Anyway, Larry insisted I do something about the way I forget things, so I intend to remember everything.
• Episode: [The above is cut and replaced with]:
  SAMANTHA: You start your homework, and I’ll start dinner.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin is on the sofa reading his book. Endora POPS in]
  ENDORA: You want a perfect memory, huh? [She looks at him and laughs, and disappears]
• Episode: Endora looks at Darrin, laughs, gestures, and his watch flashes, and she disappears.

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: [Samantha and Darrin are in bed. Endora appears, points at the watch on his wrist – It glows for a moment, accompanied by a bell tone. Endora POPS out. Suddenly Darrin’s eyes pop open, and he sits bolt upright in bed].
  DARRIN: [loud, excited] Cynthia! [Samantha wakes up, looks at Darrin, startled].
  SAMANTHA: What? What is it?
• Episode: The bedroom scene is cut. The episode scene is a continuation of the living room scene with Darrin lying on the sofa reading the book. After “Cynthia” the lines are generally the same but the action is different, with Samantha in the kitchen instead of next to Darrin in bed, and all references to Samantha being sleepy are deleted.

ACT I

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha serves blueberry pancakes.
• Episode: She serves hot cakes with blueberries.

Darrin’s Outer Office:

• Script: [Darrin enters, looks around for his secretary, who comes in behind him]
  SECRETARY: Oh, Mr. Stephens - -I’m terribly sorry I’m late. I --uh—I forget to wind my alarm clock.
  DARRIN: Wind it? You got an electric one a year and a half ago with two and a half books of stamps - -remember?
  SECRETARY: [flustered] Oh yes – of course. What I meant was I forgot to pull out the - - well, anyhow - -.
  DARRIN: No harm done. We all do it.
  SECRETARY: Not very often with me. I don’t even remember the last time I was late.
  DARRIN: Let’s see - -Six months ago - -a Thursday - - -you were in a traffic jam. And the month previous to that, your friend forgot to pick you up. And the month before that there were three times when you - -.
  SECRETARY: [almost in tears] Mr. Stephens, if you are trying to say that you’re dissatisfied with - -.
  DARRIN: [distressed] No, no. You just said you didn’t remember when you’d been late, so I remembered for you. I was just testing myself! [holds up book] Wonderful little book on memory! Greatest ever written! [He enters his office goes to his desk and recites the details of the treaty that ended the Mexican war].
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Corridor of McMann and Tate:

• Script:
  LOUISE: I’ll tell you something I discovered about Larry. He doesn’t like me to charge things - -he’d rather give me cash. It seems to give him a feeling of power. And of being charitable to me.
  SAMANTHA: For simple creatures, they’re very complicated. You sure Larry won’t mind our barging in on him?
  LOUISE: Not at all.
• Episode: This scene is moved to later in the script to just before they knock on the door to Larry’s office.

Larry’s Office:

• Script:
  LARRY: Darrin, it isn’t your turn at all.
  DARRIN: You still have a rain check for the Thursday before last when we invited you and you didn’t show up. Samantha had a whole meal waiting for you. [Ed tries to intervene, clear the air]
  ED: It was in the early 1900’s that the written invitation started to go out of style -.
  SAMANTHA: [making a joke of it; to Louise] We didn’t mind at all. We just had lamb for the rest of the week.
• Episode: [All but Darrin’s first line is cut and replaced with]:
  DARRIN: You still have a rain check for the Thursday last month when we invited you and you didn’t show up.
  
  
• Script:
  LARRY: [snapping] I’m sorry, Samantha! [to Louise] I’m sorry I didn’t tell you! Okay? [then to Darrin] Well, where’s your apology?
  DARRIN: [taken aback] For what?
  LARRY: For bringing up this whole stupid thing up!
  DARRIN: Well, gee, I do apologize. I’m sorry that I caused any - -well, I just happened to remember the whole thing, and - -well - - -I thought we’d all get a good laugh together.
• Episode: After Larry’s apology to Louise, the rest is cut.

Darrin’s office:

• Script:
  SECRETARY: [Darrin has taken off his watch] Mr. Stephens, I want to tell you again, I’m sorry about being late.
  DARRIN: Oh, were you late? Oh, that’s right, you were. Forget about it. If it makes you feel better, I already have. [He signs letter, hands it back to her, smiling] Looks perfect. Send it right out.
  SECRETARY: [happy again] Yes, sir.
• Episode: The above is cut.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin puts his watch on again] Betty, you’ve got a semi-colon in the fourth sentence of that letter where I distinctly remember dictating a colon. That’s the third time in the last six months you’ve made the same mistake, only the other way around. Colon instead of semi-colon.[a friendly piece of advice] Better watch it.
• Episode: Added is Darrin telling her that she can correct it with an eraser, then he proceeds to name the dates and conditions where she made the mistakes.

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Darrin and Samantha argue over the time he waited an hour for her in the rain]
  DARRIN: And incidentally, do you remember how long you waited for me at the wrong door?
  SAMANTHA: I don’t know. It was at least fifteen minutes - - in the rain.
  DARRIN: Under the canopy! But I - -like a fool - -waited one whole soggy, miserable, frustrating hour!
  Samantha: All right - - -what do you want, a Purple Heart?
  DARRIN: Oh, that’s funny! That’s very funny!!
• Episode: This part of the argument is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Darrin mentions the record album that Louise had given him two years before.
• Episode: The two years is changed to eight years.
  
  
• Script: Samantha has learned from Endora that there is a spell on an object, not on Darrin. Samantha is looking to see what the object might be. She sees Darrin’s watch glow and breaks the strap so it falls off of Darrin’s wrist.
• Episode: Samantha is looking at Darrin and focuses on the watch as a likely item. The watch does not glow before she breaks the band.
  
  
• Script: [Darrin asks Ed to help him remember who caught the touchdown pass].
  ED: [murderously] I wouldn’t help you across the street.
• Episode: Ed’s line is cut.
  
  
• Script: [Cynthia is summarizing Ed’s stories that she has heard hundreds of times]:
  CYNTHIA: [quoting] There I was in the middle of Lake Tahatachapookoo in a canoe with a storm coming up. I was using five-pound test line and I was hooked into the biggest muskie - - -[also]. Then there’s the hand he won in the Great Poker Game of 1943. Ed has three versions I can give you verbatim of that . . .just plain boring, medium boring, and the sleeping pill.
• Episode: These examples are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ED: I’ve been as bad as all that? [shaking his head] One thousand five hundred and sixty times?
  CYNTHIA: [trying to be generous] I’m sure I was exaggerating. It couldn’t have been over a thousand times.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Darrin can’t find his watch]
  SAMANTHA: I took it, darling. It’s a . . .running slow, I’m going to have it fixed - - -.
• Episode: SAMANTHA: I took it, darling. The strap was broken. I’m going to have it fixed.

# 98, Art for Sam’s Sake

REVIEWER’S NOTE: Although the script and the episode are very close in theme and scene sequences, there are major differences between the dialog in the script and the aired episode. To try to quote both the script and the episode dialogues would make the review much too long. Therefore, only the script dialog is quoted. In general, the episode dialog is summarized, since tapes of the episodes are available.

TEASER

Stephens’ Kitchen / Patio:

• Script: [Samantha is preparing pancakes. She TWITCHES at the pancakes and exits to the patio. She picks up a shading pencil and works on a sketch of a still life. Darrin enters the kitchen, sips orange juice as he looks around].
  DARRIN: Sam? [He moves to the stove, looks at the pancakes as they flip over].
  SAMANTHA: [on the patio as she makes a final dab on the canvas]. There!
  DARRIN’S VOICE: [off stage] SAMANTHA!!! [she hurries toward the kitchen] They flipped! Sam, you promised!
  SAMANTHA: Oh, that. I’m sorry, darling, but I just had to catch the early morning light to put the final touches on my painting.
  DARRIN: [disgruntled] For the last four mornings you’ve been out there dabbing away.
  SAMANTHA: But, Darrin, I’ve finished it!
  DARRIN: Just in time. Or I’d have to learn to eat with these bristled chopsticks. [Darrin has absently picked up a paintbrush instead of a fork].
  SAMANTHA: Oh. I’m really sorry. [hands him fork] Try this.
  DARRIN: Say. These are great. I guess I shouldn’t be so grumpy, but I’ve been working my head off on that Cunningham perfume account. [anxiously] He’s coming to town today and I still haven’t finished all the layouts.
  SAMANTHA: You will. [a beat] Don’t you want to see it?
  DARRIN: See what?
  SAMANTHA: [a little disappointed] My painting.
  DARRIN: Oh, yeah . . .uh huh, sure. . . .NOW?
  SAMANTHA: Fine. I’ll keep these warm for you. It will only take a minute. [she puts his plate in the oven]. [They move out to the patio]
  DARRIN: Oh, uh huh. . . .yes.
  SAMANTHA: What do you think?
  DARRIN: [nods] Just what I said.
  SAMANTHA: You haven’t said anything.
  DARRIN: Yes. I did. Uh . . .nice [small smile]. My beret is doffed.
  SAMANTHA: I may be an amateur, but at least you could give me a serious criticism.
  DARRIN: But, Sam. I’m no authority on art. [glances at watch] Whew . .am I late! I’ve got to get to the office.
  SAMANTHA: [taking an apple from the still life]. You can eat this on the way . . .I won’t be needing it any more.
• Episode: The script Teaser is not used. A completely different teaser is used in the episode. The general concept of Samantha fixing breakfast while she works on her painting is followed. However, Endora replaces Darrin as the other character, and the dialog is changed accordingly. The scene opens with Samantha on the patio working on her sketch. Endora POPS into the kitchen in time to hear the buzzer go off, see the pancakes and sausage flip themselves, and the orange juice come out of the refrigerator. Endora is highly pleased that Samantha is using witchcraft. On the patio, Samantha calls up to Darrin that his breakfast is ready. Endora POPS to the patio where she expresses her approval of Samantha. Samantha shrugs it off as an emergency. Endora then shows an interest in Samantha’s painting, telling her if she used witchcraft it would be a masterpiece. Samantha wants to do it the mortal way. Endora assures her that it had better be excellent; the family reputation is at stake.

ACT I

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  ENDORA: Well, there you are! I’ve been waiting for hours.
  SAMANTHA: [mock pose] Does it show? Do I look any different?
  ENDORA: You look absolutely giddy. [surveys her] I know! You won the lottery at the super-market.
  SAMANTHA: [laughs] It’s bigger than that! [puts down groceries] What would you say if I told you my painting has been chosen for the exhibit at the Charity Art Show?
  ENDORA: It wouldn’t surprise me.
  SAMANTHA: It wouldn’t?
  ENDORA: Naturally not.
  SAMANTHA: But it’s my first painting. I just finished it last week.
• Episode: After Endora’s first line, the rest is cut and replaced with Samantha telling Endora that she had been out delivering her painting, that her painting will be hung in the exhibit, and might even win a prize.
  
  
• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Now just stop that. I’m tired of asking you to be nice about Darrin.
  ENDORA: I’m tired of trying. But never mind, what kind of painting did you do? SAMANTHA: [smiles] A still life. I call it “Study in Four Colors” [as Endora reacts] The paintings that win prizes will be auctioned off for charity.
  ENDORA: Why don’t you auction off that still life you married?
  SAMANTHA: Mother! [moves to phone] I must call him, he’ll be so surprised! [as she dials] The exhibit opens tonight. [into phone] Mr. Stephens please.
• Episode: The above lines are cut.

Intercut Between Darrin’s Office and Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN: But you’ve got to put a rush on the printers! We need it now. [the other phone rings, he glares at it] Hold it a sec! [scoops up phone] Yes, yes? Oh, hello dear. Whoa! Whoa! Hang on, be right back. [grabs first phone] Yeah, Bill. Well, tell them we’re on a deadline! Talk to you later. [hangs up, grabs second phone]. Listen, Sam, unless the house is on fire, can I call you back . . I’m swamped. [sighs, resigned] No, no, no, go ahead. I do have a minute. Actually forty-five seconds. [half listens as he works] Oh. Fine, fine. Congratulations.
  SAMANTHA: [on phone] Well, you could be a little more enthusiastic.
  DARRIN: [shifts phone]. What do you mean, I don’t sound sincere? It must be a bad connection. [listens, rolls eyes] Really, honestly, cross my heart, I’m very impressed. [pleading] Could we talk about it later? I’m up to my ears in this perfume account I told you about.
  SAMANTHA: [she looks slightly hurt] Well, of course, if you’re busy. I just thought you’d be interested. After all, the exhibit is for a good cause. [Darrin knocks the layouts to the floor. He gets down to try to clean up the mess while trying to listen]
  DARRIN: Yes, yes, dear. I’m still here. Of course I believe in charity. [puts phone down, gathers papers, mutters] I may be a case myself if I don’t get back on the job.[ picks up phone] No, no, I didn’t say anything . . .just that I have to work a little late tonight. Meet me at the Grotto for dinner and we’ll go straight to the Art Show. Bye, dear.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: [fake smile] He’s really proud.
  ENDORA: [knowingly] So I gathered.
  SAMANTHA: Well, he must be very busy, but he does have a deep appreciation of art.
  ENDORA: Mmmmm, Even if it is limited to the sort of calendars they put on garage walls.
  SAMANTHA: That’s not so. He’s very sensitive and the reason he’s so good at his job is hat he has marvelous visual perception.
  ENDORA: If yours were better, you’d see right through him.
  SAMANTHA: Mother, I love Darrin and I respect his opinion.
• Episode: The above scene is cut.

Exhibit Room:

• Script: [Two workmen, O’Leary and Jenkins, are hanging pictures while munching sandwiches from a lunch box. One of them hangs a sickly surrealistic painting of two fried eggs] .
  JENKINS: Hey, O’Leary, this masterpiece will grab ya.
  O’LEARY: [grimace, hits stomach] Yeah. It grabs me right here. [tosses sandwich down] Ruin’t my lunch. [They continue hanging pictures. Endora POPS in, glances at one wall of paintings]
  ENDORA: Ghastly! An entire wall of framed garbage.
  JENKINS: Say, lady, the show don’t open till tonight.
  ENDORA: [imperiously] I’m perfectly aware of that. Just carry on with your tasks, my good man. [Endora moves to a cubist monstrosity] Obviously the work of an intoxicated plumber. [She continues on, stops at the fried eggs, shudders, flips her wrist and the painting in now upside down. She moves on, almost colliding with a low-hung mobile] Someone might make serious contact with this Unidentified Flying Object. [She gestures and the mobile rises] [Jenkins looks up at the instant the mobile rises]
  JENKINS: [puzzled] Say, them cans are slipping . . .or something. [he moves toward the mobile, followed by O’Leary, who suddenly stops at the eggs].
  O’LEARY: Hey, you hung this thing upside down.[nods approval] Good idea, them eggs look better over easy. [Endora does a “take”, stops, stares at the painting of a bowl of fruit, Samantha’s signature scrawled in a corner]
  ENDORA: [horrified whisper] She must have painted it with a broom! [Endora glances around, gestures at the painting] We can do better than that! [begins incantation]:

O wizards and warlocks of art of the ages . . .
O pallets of paint and classical sages . . .

• Episode: [This entire scene is re-written, with most of the existing lines replaced. The workmen are not eating while hanging pictures. They take a lunch break and lock the doors to the exhibit hall. Endora POPS in. Lines are added, such as]:
  JENKINS: Hey, how’d she get in here. Say, lady, the show don’t open till tonight. So blow. [Endora puffs her cheeks and blows. It almost knocks the men over. As Endora nears the mobile, it rises with no overt action on her part.. Endora freezes the men as she nears a stack of pictures at a wall. She picks out Samantha’s picture and hangs it. Her line about painting it with a wisk broom is added. Her incantation is]:

O wizards and warlocks of Art of the Ages . . .
O pallets of paint and classical sages
This dreadful still-life, just take it away
And bring me a landscape by Henri Monchet.

Jacques Art Gallery:

• Script:
  JACQUE: This is the only showing in New York of the exciting work of Henri Monchet. It just arrived from Paris and you’re the first of my clientele to see it!
  WEATHERLY: [amused] Somehow, Jacques, prices of paintings seem to increase while enroute from the boat to your gallery. [Behind the two men the painting POPS out of the frame, unseen by the two men].
  JACQUE: [takes clients arm] Step over here. I want you to have a look at this particular landscape because it’s going to go very fast.
  WEATHERBY: Well, you were right!!
  JACQUE: It’s gone!
  WEATHERBY: [still looking at the wall] You know, I do rather like it.
  JACQUE: [bewildered] What do you mean?
  WEATHERBY: That frame . . .I’ll buy it.
• Episode: The above scene is cut and replaced with a short scene where a man is standing in front of the painting. It POPS out. The man turns to look, reacts, and turns back to the camera.

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: There is a long scene in Darrin’s office where Larry tells Darrin that he has to take Cunningham to dinner tonight. Darrin replies that he is having dinner with Samantha and then taking her to the art exhibit. Larry insists that they take Cunningham along since he is a patron of the arts.
• Episode: [The episode follows the theme of the script with come added and changed lines]:
  LARRY: [to Darrin] Have I ever steered you wrong?
  DARRIN: Do you want to stand on your record? Could I take him to the hockey game tomorrow night?
  LARRY : Call Samantha and give her the good word.
  DARRIN: I’m trying to think of a good word.
  LARRY: Tell her it’s a favor for the president of the company.

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: Samantha is dressed for the evening when Endora POPS in to baby-sit. [Samantha dabs some perfume behind her ears]
  SAMANTHA: There - - -that’ll do it. [holds up bottle] Darrin’s client sent this perfume to Louise Tate and me. It’s ten dollars an ounce.
  ENDORA: Hmmm. Well don’t throw that at you-know-who. It’s too expensive
  SAMANTHA: [annoyed] Mother, I should be meeting Darrin and Mr. Cunningham at the restaurant right now. I’m late.
  ENDORA: Well, if you insist on doing things the hard way. [She makes a gesture and Samantha’s coat and purse appear beside her.
  SAMANTHA: Please, I don’t need help.
  ENDORA: Then don’t be so nervous. Show a little savoir faire.
  SAMANTHA: I’m not nervous. It’s just that Cunningham is supposed to be a connoisseur of art and I hope he won’t be too disappointed with the exhibit.
• Episode: This scene is shortened considerably. It starts with Samantha trying to remember what it was she had to do. It was put on the perfume. The perfume is 50 dollars an ounce. Samantha finally says she is so nervous it’s like stage fright.

Restaurant:

• Script: Present are Samantha, Darrin, and Mr. Cunningham. He is a real know-it-all stuffed shirt and monopolizes the conversation, with “I” being his most frequent word. He says if he likes something he refers to it as “I know you” and he goes after it. He says he always gets what he wants.
• Episode: The scene is considerably shortened. Cunningham’s final line is that local judges know very little about art.

Jacques Art Gallery:

• Script: The police have come to investigate the theft of the painting.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Exhibit Room:

• Script: [Samantha’s painting has been uncovered. There are gasps and shocked expressions].
  DARRIN: [a baffled blink] Sam, it isn’t yours!
  SAMANTHA: I know!
  CUNNINGHAM: Very unusual, Mrs. Stephens. Not bad at all. It’s pure, primitive, nothing tricky about it.
  SAMANTHA: I’m not so sure.
  CUNNINGHAM: Well I am. And I know. [importantly] I like it. I actually like it. [to Darrin] Why have you been hiding your wife’s talents?
  DARRIN: [mutters] I wish I could.
  CUNNINGHAM: [to Samantha] How long have you been painting.
  SAMANTHA: Since last Friday.
• Episode: After Samantha’s “I know”, the rest is cut. Added is, “That may be my signature, but it’s my mother’s handwriting”.
  
  
• Script: Cunningham starts the bidding at two hundred dollars.
• Episode: He starts the bidding at twenty five dollars. [as Darrin raises the bid] "Oh, I see. It’s for charity" is added.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: CUNNINGHAM: Yes, a gracious loser [to Darrin].
• Episode: Added is, “And I’m a gracious winner".

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: [Samantha and Darrin enter kitchen]
  DARRIN: [panicky] Sam, what are we going to do? We can’t let him keep that painting!
  SAMANTHA: I know, I’ll talk to mother right away.
  DARRIN: [makes strangling gesture with hands] Let me have a word with her!
  SAMANTHA: You’re much too excited. Now go back to the guests, I’ll take care of this.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  LOUISE: I just had no idea Samantha was so gifted!
  DARRIN: Oh, it was a gift all right.
  CUNNINGHAM: Your wife must come from a very creative background. Have any other members of her family ever done anything?
  DARRIN: [darkly] Constantly.
• Episode: These lines are cut

Jacques Art Gallery:

• Script: [Jacques, the police detective, policemen and reporters stand around discussing the theft of the painting. Suddenly, the painting appears on the wall in it’s original spot].
  REPORTER: Well, how do you explain that?
  DETECTIVE: We’ll have a statement later. No comment.
• Episode: This scene is deleted.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: [Samantha and Darrin are getting ready for bed].
  DARRIN Cunningham is certainly happy with that formula of your mother’s.
  SAMANTHA: [smiles] Well, he should be, it’s quite unusual. Heliotrope, clove, musk root, crushed Mongolian artichokes –
  DARRIN: [breaks in] Ostrich oil, clam chowder, extract of eagle egg, everything is in there except the vermouth. [shakes head] Cunningham’s even had to send one of his vice presidents to Tibet for some of the ingredients.
  SAMANTHA: I still have a little of her perfume left. Think I’ll try it once again. [dabs in behind ears]. Mmm, not bad. [Darrin crosses over, kisses her on the cheek]
  DARRIN: Not bad at all. [He suddenly sneezes. He sniffs at Samantha’s ear again and sneezes again. He backs away, Samantha starts toward him]. No, no, stay away.
  SAMANTHA: What’s wrong, darling?
  DARRIN: That perfume. [Samantha stops beside him and he has a sneezing fit].
  SAMANTHA: Mother! [Endora can be heard to laugh o.s.]
  DARRIN: [shakes fist upward] Endora!
• Episode: The script Trailer is not used. It is replaced with a scene in the entry where the guests are leaving. Samantha’s painting has POPPED in on the entry seat. Cunningham sees it, and declares he must have it. Samantha gives it to him. He runs out before she can change her mind.

# 99, Charlie Harper, Winner

TEASER

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script:
  DARRIN: . . .Not even me, and don’t think I haven’t tried.
  SAMANTHA: [amused] Why? He’s no threat to you.
  DARRIN: No, but there’s some little something up here . . .[pointing to his temple] . . .that keeps noodging me, making me wish I could beat him at something, anything. Tiddley winks!
  SAMANTHA: Tiddley winks indeed! [trying to come up with something]. You went to college with him, there must have been something . . . .
• Episode: After Darrin’s lead-in, the rest of the lines are cut.

ACT I

Tabatha’s Room:

• Script: Charlie Harper is described as a blond Greek-god type.
• Episode: Charlie is dark haired and more of the All-American boy type.

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script: SAMANTHA: Shall we go in where it’s more comfortable?
• Episode: SAMANTHA: Shall we go in the living room where it’s more comfortable? I’ll get the liqueur and be right in.[she exits to kitchen] [This last line is in the script, but is after Darrin’s comment about Charlie not “owning this block”.]

Stephens’ Kitchen:

• Script: A king size banana split POPS in on the kitchen table. Endora POPS in immediately after. Samantha enters as Endora begins eating the banana split.
• Episode: Samantha enters and has the tray of liqueur in her hands when Endora POPS in with an ice cream dish [not a banana split].

Pool Area:

• Script: Calls for Samantha to be wearing a swimsuit.
• Episode: Samantha wears shorts and a short-sleeved blouse.

Game Room:

• Script: Darrin is lining up a close shot on the eight ball when Charlie enters. Charlie clears his throat, ruining Darrin’s concentration.
  DARRIN: [lining up shot] That wasn’t very sporting, Charlie. [He’s about to shoot again]
  CHARLIE: Sorry, old man, but . . . [Again Darrin’s shot is ruined]
  DARRIN: Aw, come on, Charlie - - -what’s with you?
  CHARLIE: Dar, it’s my shot.
  DARRIN: [completely chagrinned] Oh.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

Pool Area:

• Script: Samantha is playing ping-pong. Daphne [on a hammock] is talking to a countess. She says, just loud enough for Samantha to hear, that Charlie is trying to get Darrin a decent job. Samantha TWITCHES, and Daphne rolls out of the hammock.
• Episode: Daphne is lying on a chaise. Samantha makes a slight hand motion and the chaise collapses.

ACT II

Mansion Bedroom:

• Script:
  DAPHNE: But, Charlie could give him a vice presidency at his agency. But, of course, Darrin would never accept it.
  SAMANTHA: No, he enjoys earning his own way. And I’m sure that one day he’ll get to be a full partner in McMann and Tate.
• Episode: Samantha’s line about “full partner” is changed to “vice-president”.
  [Note: A few scenes earlier, Charlie had offered Darrin the Presidency of his advertising agency.]
  
  
• Script: Samantha opens a drawer and an assortment of jewelry is seen in an open traveling case.
• Episode: Samantha opens a drawer, TWITCHES up a jewelry case and opens it.
  
  
• Script: DAPHNE: [understandingly] Darling you can count on me.
• Episode: [Daphne starts out of the room with the coat on her arm. Samantha pulls it back].
  DAPHNE: Oh, how stupid of me.
  
  
• Script: Darrin and Samantha retreat across the room and behind a screen to discuss the coat.
• Episode: There is no screen. They just go to a far corner.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: What’s to explain! I think everything’s all too clear![ He exits and slams the door. Samantha opens the door and calls after him].
  SAMANTHA: Darrin, please! You’ve got to listen to me! [She shakes her head, sighs, closes the door and leans against it, eyes welling with tears].[ in tearful frustration] What do I want with a mink! [she gets an idea, a determined look comes over her face] I’ll make him listen to me. I’ll prove it to him. [She runs to the closet, hurriedly takes the mink off a hangar and heads for the door].
• Episode: This scene is cut after Darrin exits.

Mansion Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha descends the stairs, carrying the mink. She stops, tries to catch Daphne’s eye. Daphne looks up, sees Samantha, looks at her questioningly. Samantha gestures for Daphne to come to her, then moves to a part of the hallway where the other guests won’t see her. Darrin and Charlie see Daphne going to Samantha, Samantha holding the coat. Darrin and Charlie remain at the bar, watching].
  DAPHNE: [hoping against hope] What is it Samantha? [eying the coat] You haven’t by any chance changed your mind?
  SAMANTHA: [nods] The mink is yours.
  DAPHNE: You mean it? [calling out] Charlie! Charlie! [Darrin and Charlie exchange looks, head for the hallway] Hurry up!
  SAMANTHA: Daphne, this is just between you and . . .
  CHARLIE: What’s going on?
  DAPHNE: Quick, Charlie, my boy, before Samantha changes her mind again. Make out a check!
• Episode: This scene is changed. Samantha is not shown coming down the stairs. She is first seen entering the living room, going to Daphne, and asking her to go with her into the hall. Darrin and Charlie watch. The coat is on a chair in the hall. Samantha picks up the coat and hands it to Daphne. Beginning with Samantha’s line, “ I’m giving it to you”, the episode again follows the script.
  
  
• Script:
  CHARLIE: [to Darrin quietly] Darrin, she’s something special. You’re a real winner, you know that?
  DARRIN: [nods, smiling at Samantha] Yeah, I just need reminding every now and then.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script and Episode agree.

# 101, The Crone of Cawdor

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN: He is. But I’m meeting with his daughter, Terry. She’s just been made advertising manager of the firm.
  SAMANTHA: Uh huh. There’s nothing like working your way up from the bottom.
  DARRIN: Oh, she’s been in the firm. As a model and designer and whatall. All I have to do is fill her in on our plans for the account, so it should be a wrap-up.
  SAMANTHA: I don’t know if I like you getting wrapped up in any models on the anniversary of our first meeting.
  DARRIN: Maybe I can put it off till tomorrow.
  SAMANTHA: I won’t like it on the day after either.
• Episode: Except for Darrin’s lead-in line, these lines are cut.

ACT I

Darrin’s Office:

• Script:
  DARRIN: Sorry, but it’s just one of those things.
  LARRY: [to Terry] How about that? That’s the new breed – the independent man. They’re tough to deal with, but you’ll always get an honest opinion. Aggressive, direct, unflinching in every aspect of their work.
• Episode: Larry’s lines are cut.

Corridor:

• Script:
  LARRY: So what? Take it from an older and wiser hand - - it won’t be the last promise you’ll break. [changing stride] Darrin, can I give you a piece of fatherly advice? Making a big tadadum about your first date is the worst thing you can do. After all, marriage isn’t a never-ending romance in a perpetual setting of moonlight and roses. You’ve got to give Samantha a chance to settle down to the practical, everyday problems. Darrin boy, you’re not being fair to your wife! DARRIN: Honestly, Larry, there’s something about that woman that disturbs me.
  LARRY: [with a leer] Me too! But I’m not lucky enough to take her to lunch.
  DARRIN: No. I mean she doesn’t even seem interested in the Warbell advertising campaign. She just keeps staring at me and . . .
  LARRY: [with a nudge] Sounds like she’s interested in another kind of campaign.
  DARRIN: But, Larry . . .
• Episode: After [changing stride], all lines are cut except Larry’s “Do you read me!”
  Reviewer’s Note: Some of the lines from this scene can be found repeated, word-for-word, in # 240.

Outer Office:

• Script:
  TERRY: Oh, definitely. I think if a girl has something, she should show it.
  ENDORA: You mean provided she doesn’t get arrested? [She sees Darrin coming back, stuffing papers into his pocket and she POPS out. The papers POP out of Darrin’s pocket.]
  DARRIN: Sorry, but I’d be lost without my notes. [he pats his pocket and is startled to find them gone] Something’s . . . Those papers must be tied to a rubber string. I’ll be right back. [He goes back to his office; Endora POPS back in as Terry turns back to her.]
  ENDORA: Sorry, I had to pop out for a second.
• Episode: The papers only POP out of Darrin’s pocket once and Endora’s bit is continuous with no middle POP out.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: Endora is convinced that Terry is an imposter, since she seems to know so little about fashions. Samantha doesn’t believe her. Endora brings up that Darrin took Terry to La Bella Donna. That makes Samantha angry and the scene ends with Samantha’s line, “Yes! . . . good for nothing and kind of a rat.”
• Episode: The scene is used exactly as written, but it is moved to after the scene at the Kravitz’s where the old woman appears, so that the two script scenes that take place in the Stephens’ Living Room are made into one continuous scene, ending with Samantha phoning Larry to find out where Darrin is.

ACT II

Terry’s Apartment:

• Script: [Terry is draped on the sofa while Darrin stands stiffly trying to stick to business. The opening line of the scene is:]
  DARRIN: Now as far as TV spots are concerned, we feel that Warbell has nothing to gain in that area until such time as you go in for consumer selling. Do you agree?
• Episode: The above is cut.

Stephens’ House:

• Script: [Abner drags Gladys from the house]
  GLADYS: Now, I’ll fix your supper.
  ABNER: Why don’t we take a drive first? To the nearest emergency ward?
• Episode: The lines are cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Dining Room:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Happy anniversary of our first meeting dear.
  DARRIN: In spades.
• Episode: Darrin’s line is changed to, “I’ll kiss to that!” [he really kisses her]

# 102, No More Mr. Nice Guy

TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  DARRIN: . . . And I’ve told you a thousand times witchcraft will not be practiced in this house!
  ENDORA: [huffily] Do you expect me to let my own grandaughter’s natural talents to be stifled by the idiotic prejudices of a mortal?
  DARRIN: Well, you’d better be, because this mortal happens to be her father!
  ENDORA: I keep hoping she’ll be able to overcome that dreadful misfortune.
  DARRIN: [shouts] You leave Tabatha alone!
• Episode: After Darrin’s lead-in line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script: Samantha picks up Tabatha and heads for the kitchen.
• Episode: Samantha has the line, “Come on sweetheart, time for your breakfast”, added.

ACT I

Darrin’s Office:

• Script: When Mr. Eastwood enters, he has a cigar.
• Episode: No cigar.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: I don’t have anything against cream.
  EASTWOOD: The farmers can knock their brains out, it’s all right with you.
  DARRIN: What farmers?
  EASTWOOD: The cows, let them waste their time, no skin off your nose, you don’t care. The whole dairy industry can go out of business just because you don’t like cream.
  LARRY: [veiled threat to Darrin] I’m sure Darrin didn’t mean . . . .
  EASTWOOD: I’ll bet you don’t take sugar either.
  DARRIN: That’s right. I don’t.
  EASTWOOD: The whole state of Hawaii can drop dead. He’s beautiful.
  DARRIN: Now just a minute. All I meant . . . .
• Episode: After Darrin’s lead-in line, the remainder is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  EASTWOOD: Why don’t you just keep quiet till you know what’s going on?
  DARRIN: [puzzled] Well, uh . . .I just meant I understand the delicacy needed in creating a new political image, sir.
  EASTWOOD: [snaps] Oh, you do? You’ve never held any sort of political office and now you’re setting yourself up as an authority?
• Episode: After the lead-in line, the remainder is cut.

Darrin’s Office – later:

• Script:
  SECRETARY: Nothing’s wrong with you as far as I’m concerned.
  DARRIN: That’s what I was hoping to hear.
  SECRETARY: As far as I’m concerned there is nothing wrong with you. If you ask me, you’re just about perfect.
  DARRIN: [a little embarrassed] Thanks, but I wasn’t hoping to hear quite that much.
• Episode: After the lead-in line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  [a] DARRIN: [flustered now] Why . . .why, not a thing , , ,I mean you’ve had plenty of experience modeling.
  GLORIA: [more insulted] Well, I should hope that’s what you meant. After all I’m . . .
  DARRIN: [quickly, panicky] Yes, yes. I know what you are… I mean . . .of course. Modeling. [as she glares at him] Uh . . .I’m very pleased with the way you look - - -everything - - -the nightgown is a good idea. [struggling to please] I’d like to see it. The coat . . .uh . . .take it off.
  GLORIA: Cool it. This isn’t burlesque, you know.
  [b] DARRIN: [bewildered] Believe me Miss Adams, I mean no offense! [Gloria removes the coat] [discreetly] Lovely, Yes. Thank you. You’ll do very nicely.
  [c] GLORIA: [distrustfully] Do what?
  [d] DARRIN: [blurts] Nothing!
  GLORIA: You don’t have to shout.
  DARRIN: Sorry, Uh . . .just leave your phone number with my secretary.
  GLORIA: I don’t leave my phone number with anyone - - -if you want to employ me do it through the agency.
  DARRIN: [sweating] Of course. That’s what I meant!
  GLORIA: If you’re through staring, it’s freezing in here.
  DARRIN: [beside himself] Yes, that’s all. Just put on your coat.
• Episode: Lines [a] through [d] are in the episode. The rest are cut.

Larry’s Office:

• Script:
  LARRY: [alarmed] Horace, perhaps we ought to give this campaign some more thought.
  DARRIN: Yes, I’m positive that we can come up with something you’ll like. I know we will.
  BALDWIN: If there’s one type I can’t do business with it’s a know-it-all!
  LARRY: But, Horace . . .
• Episode: After the lead-in line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script: DARRIN: My favorite bartender! [he exits]
• Episode: Darrin starts to exit. The door does not close. Added is Darrin’s line, “Even the door hates me!”

Bar Phone Booth:

• Script: [Darrin dials]
  DARRIN: Hello. May I speak to Dr. Farnsworth, please [drums on phone] Hello, Bob? Darrin Stephens. [beat] Oh, fine. How’s your golf? [beat] No, the foursome is filled for Saturday. [deep breath] But what are you doing right now?
• Episode: Darrin dials. The rest is cut.

ACT II

Psychiatrist’s Office:

• Script: [Darrin is seated across the desk from Dr. Farnsworth. From time to time the Doctor crosses and uncrosses his legs violently]
  FARNSWORTH: It would seem on the surface that you are suffering from a form of neurosis known to the layman as a persecution complex.
  DARRIN: Is it that bad?
  FARNSWORTH: Well, we’ll make some inroads on your subconscious, after years of work, of course. [Samantha POPS in, unseen by either man]
  DARRIN: [demolished] Years?
  FARNSWORTH: Well, this damage to your psyche can’t be cured overnight. I think that inner conflicts have been building up ever since your marriage.
• Episode: [The above is cut and replaced with:]
  FARNSWORTH: How long have you had the feeling that people don’t like you?
  DARRIN: Just since this morning. [Every place in the script that calls for Farnsworth to violently cross and uncross his legs is replaced with a roll of the head, as if trying to loosen shoulder muscles]
  
  
• Script: [Farnsworth violently crosses and uncrosses his legs]
  DARRIN: Now, look Bob, you’ve got it all wrong!
  FARNSWORTH: [ignores him] Tell me, how long have you had this feeling that people dislike you?
  DARRIN: Just since this morning.
  FARNSWORTH: That’s strange. You know sometimes we imagine other people are antagonistic.
  DARRIN: [rises] This isn’t my imagination. They hate me on sight.
  FARNSWORTH: Now sit down. Don’t fight me. Just relax and tell me all of the hostilities you feel against your wife.
  DARRIN: I love her!
  FARNSWORTH: Sometimes it seems that way when examined superficially. But in a marital maladjustment people tend to disguise their seething problems with their mates by projecting subconscious hostility to casual acquaintances.
• Episode: After Darrin’s lead-in line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: That’s because you’re mixing me up!
  FARNSWORTH: No, you came because you are mixed up - - - -unhappy.
  DARRIN: [squirming] I’m getting more miserable every second.
• Episode: After the lead-in line, the other lines are cut.

Stephens’ Nursery:

• Script: [Endora is on the floor with Tabatha, building a castle with wooden blocks]
  ENDORA: Oh, isn’t that a beautiful castle, Tabatha! We’re going to live in it happily ever after. [Samantha appears, looking very grim]
  SAMANTHA: So this is where you’ve been hiding!
  ENDORA: [innocently] Hiding? Not at all. Hagatha had to go on a little errand, so I’m just doing my grandmotherly duty. [indicates smiling Tabatha] She adores me.
  SAMANTHA: Well, I don’t. I’m furious with you, Mother!
  ENDORA: Oh? What on earth for?
  SAMANTHA: Don’t you dare be devious! There isn’t time. I know you’ve been putting a spell on people to make them dislike Darrin!
  ENDORA: Well, he deserves it. [injured air] He behaved very churlishly toward me this morning.
  SAMANTHA: Take that spell off all those people immediately.
  ENDORA: [stubbornly] Why should I? It’ll teach him a good lesson if others treat him the way he’s been treating me.
  SAMANTHA: You ask for it, Mother. Now take off that spell!
  ENDORA: [dismisses her] Later, later - - can’t you see we’re playing. [smiles at Tabatha] Go ahead, darling, put the last block on the castle for granny. [Tabatha looks at the block, smiles at Endora. Samantha TWITCHES at Tabatha].
  SAMANTHA: Go right ahead, Tabatha. [Tabatha frowns at Endora, knocks over the castle.]
  ENDORA: What on earth is the child doing? [Endora attempts to quiet Tabatha, who yells and pushes her away.] What’s gotten into her?
  SAMANTHA: A little of your temper, I’d say. She’s going to treat you exactly the same way those people are treating Darrin, until you take off that spell.
  ENDORA: Samantha - -[indicating Tabatha] You haven’t - -
  SAMANTHA: I have.
  ENDORA: Not against her own grandmother. How wicked!
  SAMANTHA: It’s your move, Mother.
  ENDORA: Oh, all right. [very vexed] But your methods of persuasion are revolting! [takes out little bell, TINKLES it] Off! Satisfied?
• Episode: This entire scene is deleted.

Larry’s Office:

• Script: [Larry and Baldwin are going over the slogans Darrin had read earlier]
  BALDWIN:[ affably] These ideas of Stephens are very good. I can’t understand why I didn’t spark to them.
  LARRY: Well, we all have our moods, Horace.
  BALDWIN: I don’t know why I behaved the way I did this morning. [puzzled] I always like just about everybody.
• Episode: The above lines are cut. The scene begins as Darrin enters.

Darrin’s Outer Office / intercut with Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  SECRETARY: [on phone] Gee, I’m sorry, Mrs. Stephens but I’ve been told if I interrupted this meeting they’d have my head. I just don’t dare.
  SAMANTHA: [on phone] That’s all right, Betty. I’ll try to reach him later.
• Episode: This scene is cut.

TRAILER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script and Episode agree.

# 103, It's Wishcraft

TEASER

Tabitha's Nursery:

• Script: Calls for Tabitha to make the rabbit move across the floor until it can jump into her arms.
• Episode: Begins with the rabbit in place to jump.
  
  
• Script: Calls for Darrin to pass the open nursery door and wave to Tabitha with the line: "Bye-bye, sweetie. You be a good girl."
• Episode: Door is closed. Darrin enters.
  The lines are:
  DARRIN: Bye-bye, sweetheart.
  Tabitha: Bye-bye.
  DARRIN: Bye-bye, sweetheart. You be a good girl.

Stephens' Dining Room:

• Script: As Darrin leaves for work, he reminds Samantha that she has to be on her toes. He does not want either of his parents to be alone with Tabitha at any time.
• Episode: These lines are cut.

Tabitha's Room:

• Script: Note that the script has switched from "nursery" to "room". At the end of the scene where Samantha is distracting Tabitha so Darrin can leave, Samantha has the line: "Let's go see your rabbit." The scene ends.
• Episode: The line, "There's your bunny rabbit" is added. Also added is a bit of playing with the rabbit while Darrin escapes.

END OF TEASER

ACT 1

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Endora is seated on the couch holding Tabitha while she talks to Samantha. Endora refers to Darrin by his correct name. [Note: That is Diane (as Tabitha) that Endora is holding, not Erin.]
• Episode: Endora refers to Darrin as "Darwin".
  
  
• Script: There is a conversation between Samantha and Endora as Samantha tells about Tabitha starting to go through Wishcraft.
• Episode: This scene is cut to the point where Samantha says: "Please, Mother. If ever I needed another witch in the house, it's today."
  
  
• Script: Mr. and Mrs. Stephens arrive. Samantha invites Mrs. Stephens to have tea. As they are seated in the living room, Samantha has lines that end with: "You must taste one and tell me if I've done it right."
• Episode: The tea line is repeated as in the script. The line about the cookies is extended: "Your recipes have been such a wonderful success."
  
  
• Script: After Frank's line about how Phyllis could write a book on aches and pains, Samantha has the lines: "I'll get... uh... the coffee."
• Episode: "Coffee" is changed to "tea".
  
  
• Script: The phone rings. Phyllis goes to answer the phone, which is on a small phone stand.
• Episode: The phone is on the left-top of the TV.
  
  
• Script: Phyllis is talking to Darrin. Frank says he wants to talk to Darrin. Phyllis ignores him, and goes on about the trouble Endora is causing between Darrin and Samantha. Darrin assures Phyllis that everything is fine.
• Episode: These lines are cut.
  
  
• Script: Samantha is trying to talk to Darrin on the phone, and keep Phyllis from eavesdropping. She says she has brought in the rolls and coffee, and asks Phyllis to pour. Endora is already pouring the coffee. Phyllis returns to Samantha [plainly trying to overhear the conversation], and asks Samantha if she takes cream and sugar.
• Episode: All references to "coffee" are replaced with "tea". Phyllis' line is changed to: "Cream or lemon". Samantha's reply is changed from: "black" to "lemon".
  
  
• Script: Phyllis wants to go up to see Tabitha, and starts up the stairs. Samantha asks Endora to go with her. The following is verbatim from the script: Sam is looking up the stairs, waiting until Mrs. Stephens and Endora get out of sight before responding (to Darrin). She is smiling fixedly. As Mrs. Stephens, followed by Endora, mounts the stairs, we see the rabbit making its way across the floor. Endora spots it. She quickly elbows her way past Phyllis, blocking her view.
  ENDORA [to Phyllis]: Better let me go first. She quickly ZAPS the rabbit which pops out.
  SAMANTHA'S VOICE (From downstairs - really exasperated): "Darrin, for heavens' sake. We'll discuss this when you get home". We hear the sound of Sam hanging up.
  Phyllis reacts, looking downstairs. Endora has hurriedly glanced into Tabitha's room. Now she approaches Phyllis.
  ENDORA: "She's fast asleep. We'd better wait 'til she wakes."
  Phyllis gives Endora a black look, turns, and comes down the stairs.
  
• Episode: This scene is entirely cut.
  [Note - this scene explains why Phyllis returns to the living room. The action in the episode only has Phyllis starting upstairs and then going to the living room, with no real reason given for not going on upstairs].
  
  
• Script: Calls for Samantha to again offer Phyllis coffee.
• Episode: The line is deleted.
  
  
• Script: Frank is on the couch sipping coffee and reading a newspaper.
• Episode: No coffee.
  
  
• Script: After Frank asks when Darrin is coming home, Samantha starts to pour coffee.
• Episode: Samantha pours tea.
  
  
• Script: Endora calls Darrin "Durwood". Phyllis has the line: "His name is Dagwood. I mean Darrin."
• Episode: "Dagwood" is changed to "Dobbin".

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: After Endora's line: "Well, I can see I am no longer required", she POPS out. Samantha has the line: "Good". This is the last line of an added page in the script. At the beginning of the next page, the script reads: Samantha: (to herself) "Good".
• Episode: Samantha says "Good" only once.
  
  
• Script: The scene shifts between the entry area where the phone is and a phone booth where Darrin, being rained on, is calling home. Darrin tells Samantha that he is in his own personal monsoon. Samantha has no idea what he is talking about. Phyllis tries to overhear the conversation. Samantha finally gets the idea of what Darrin is talking about, and decides Endora has made it rain on Darrin. Samantha tells Phyllis and Frank that Darrin is coming right home. Phyllis offers to leave until Samantha and Darrin get their problems straightened out. Samantha replies that there is nothing to straighten out. Samantha picks up the tea carafe and exits to the kitchen.
• Episode: The entire scene is cut. The script finally gets it right, that it is "tea" not "coffee".

Stephens' Kitchen:

• Script: Samantha enters and calls for Endora.
• Episode: Darrin shows up outside the kitchen window, being rained on. Samantha sees him. He finally gets across to her that he wants the water turned off. Then Samantha calls for Endora.

Nursery [Note - another name change]:

• Script: Darrin pops into the nursery. Tabitha greets him. Darrin tells her he cannot hug her because he is all wet.
• Episode: This bit is cut.
  
  
• Script: Darrin hides in the closet. Phyllis hears him sneeze and goes to open the door. Samantha twitches Darrin out just in time, so that Phyllis does not see him. There is a puddle of water on the floor that Samantha twitches away. Phyllis questions the water puddle.
• Episode: Since her back is to the camera and a twitch could not be seen, Samantha uses the overhand throwing motion to zap Darrin out of the closet. There is no water puddle.

Stephens' Bedroom:

• Script: Samantha gives Darrin a kiss on the cheek and exits.
• Episode: Darrin: The line: "Must be like kissing a minnow" is added.

Tabitha's Room:

• Script: Phyllis goes to get Tabitha. The rabbit levitates, and flies into the crib. Tabitha giggles. The closet door opens and closes. Phyllis is in shock and Tabitha is giggling. The crib rolls to the door and back again.
• Episode: Tabitha does not giggle at all. The crib rolls, but not to the door.

Stephens' Living Room:

• Script: Calls for Samantha to say: "I'll start lunch."
• Episode: Samantha says: "I'll start dinner." This is more in line with the timing of the episode, since early in the episode Phyllis said she had lunch on the plane.
  
  
• Script: After Phyllis brings Tabitha down, Darrin moves away from them. Tabitha stretches her arms out toward Darrin. Tabitha starts to say: "Da--". Darrin almost runs over his Mother to get to Tabitha, to keep her from zapping him closer to her.
• Episode: Tabitha makes no motion, nor any sound, yet Darrin and Samantha both react as if she had.

TRAILER or "TAG"

• Script / Episode: The short Trailer is presented in agreement with the script.

END

# 107, There’s Gold in Them Thar Pills

Reviewer’s Note: This episode marks the first appearance of Dr. Bombay.

TEASER

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: [Darrin is in bed with a cold. Samantha enters carrying a hot water bottle]
  SAMANTHA: Here we are.
  DARRIN: [nose stuffed] Sam, that’s not going to do any good.
  SAMANTHA: [tucking bottle under covers] It’s important to keep warm. [Darrin sneezes three times] You sound awful. I wish we could do something for that cold.
  DARRIN: Why? What’s it ever done for us?
  SAMANTHA: [with a giggle] That’s the spirit. Keep ‘em laughing. [He sneezes twice. Samantha waits for the third. It doesn’t come.] You’re down to two sneezes. That’s a good sign.
  DARRIN: No, it’s not. I just didn’t have the strength for a third.
  SAMANTHA: [feeling his forehead] You’re awfully warm. I’m going to call Dr. Altman.
  DARRIN: Better call Larry first. He’s going to have to take over my appointments.
  SAMANTHA: I already did. He’s got a cold, too. Seems there’s an epidemic.
  DARRIN: Wouldn’t you know an epidemic would strike just when everybody’s got a cold? [At this groaner, Samantha winces with a stab of pain.] You said: “Keep ‘em laughing.”
  SAMANTHA: Yes, but I don’t want you to strain yourself. Now, just let me prop up your pillows and then, I’ll call the - - -[feels bed covers] Darrin, you’re perspiring!
  DARRIN: No, I’m not.
  SAMANTHA: I can feel it.
  DARRIN: That’s the hot water bottle. [holding it up] It’s got a leak.
  SAMANTHA: [taking it] Sorry, hon. I was just trying to help.
  DARRIN: Sam, I’m just curious. How come you haven’t offered to . . .you know . . .[nose business] zap my cold away?
  SAMANTHA: For a very simple reason. So far, we haven’t found a spell for the common cold.

END SCRIPT TEASER

• Episode: The entire script teaser is not used.

SCRIPT ACT I

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Samantha is on the phone]
  SAMANTHA: Doctor Altman? This is Mrs. Stephens . . .I’m fine, thanks, but . . .What’s that? . We must have a bad line, Doctor. Can you speak up? . . .You can’t? [holds phone from ear] That’s a terrible cough. Well, what I was calling about was - - -[pause] Bless you again. I was calling about my husband, but, frankly, you sound a lot worse. If I were you I’d go right home and get into bed. And, drink plenty of liquids and keep warm . . .Your wife said the same thing? Of course, it’s the only thing for a cold. [pause] Oh, you’ll try to have one of your associates drop in? I’d appreciate that. Thank you, Doctor, and I do hope you feel better, soon. Goodbye.
• Episode: This scene is cut. The Episode starts with the episode teaser at this point, with Samantha on the phone to the drug store.

BEGIN EPISODE TEASER

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script: [Endora has popped in]
  ENDORA: [a] Had you forgotten? We had a date to go shopping. [b] Remember this terribly chic milliner I told you about who has such a darling collection of Paris hats?
  SAMANTHA: Oh. Where is he again?
  ENDORA: Paris, where else?
  SAMANTHA: But . . . isn’t that a new hat?
  ENDORA: Yes, but it’s just a hat in which to go shopping for another hat.
• Episode: Line [a] is left in the episode. All lines after [b] are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: I’m terribly sorry, Dr. Bombay, but this was something of an emergency. [Dr. Bombay whips out a tongue depressor and shoves it in Endora’s mouth]
  DR. BOMBAY: Say, “Ah.” . . .
  ENDORA: [struggling] Doctor. . . . .
  DR. BOMBAY: If I had wanted you to say “Doctor” I would have said so. Say, :Ah.” . . .
  ENDORA: I’m not the one. It’s my daughter’s husband.
  DR. BOMBAY: Oh. [with distaste] Isn’t he the . . . .the mortal? [she nods]
• Episode: After Endora’s first line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: This way Doctor.
  DR. BOMBAY: One moment while I change into suitable attire. [He waves and a suit of clothes POPS on him; rather natty, pin stripe with lighter vest, etc. And, a doctor’s bag POPS into his hand]
  ENDORA: Doctor, I hope you won’t misunderstand, but wouldn’t it be the better part of discretion if you didn’t divulge the fact that you don’t normally treat humans?
  DR. BOMBAY: You mean, you wish me to “clam up?”
  ENDORA: Exactly. [She leads the way upstairs].
• Episode: After Endora’s lead in line, the rest is cut.

END EPISODE TEASER

BEGIN EPISODE ACT I

Stephens’ Bedroom:

• Script: [Dr. Bombay has a stethescope {Script spelling} to Darrin’s chest].
  DR. BOMBAY: Breathe deeply. [Darrin heaves]
  DARRIN: How does it sound?
  DR. BOMBAY: It’s not the “Moonlight Sonata.” Cough, please.
  DARRIN: I’m better at sneezing. [As the Doctor glares:] Sorry. [He sneezes twice and the Doctor pulls the stethescope away. As he returns it to Darrin’s chest, he sneezes again, and again the Doctor pulls the stethescope away]
  DR. BOMBAY: How am I going to find out what’s wrong with you if you keep doing that? [He takes a flashlight and a tongue depressor from his bag] Put out your tongue and say, “Aah.” [Darrin does so, and the Doctor peers down his throat] My, my, my.
  DARRIN: Is it red?
  DR. BOMBAY: No, it’s more of a lovely shade of magenta. [Dr. Bombay removes the tongue depressor and reaches for examining light and starts to peer in Darrin’s ear. He notices Darrin, whose tongue is still out.] Will you do me the goodness to put that back, Mr. Stephens?
  DARRIN: [he does; feels foolish] Sorry. That was silly.
  DR. BOMBAY: But not overly bright.
• Episode: All of the above lines are cut. The scene begins with Dr. Bombay looking in Darrin’s ear.

Stephens’ Living Room:

• Script:
  LARRY: No, it’s not a little hard to believe. It’s impossible to believe! And let me tell you something, Darrin. [a] I don’t mind your trying to get a day off on the company. We’ve all done that.
  DARRIN: Larry . . .
  LARRY: You want to get away and play golf or whatever - - perfectly understandable. But, when you get caught, be man enough to admit it instead of having the unmitigated gall to ask someone to believe some hairbrained explanation that even an idiot would. . .would . . .[he sneezes]
  DARRIN: Larry, I’m not making it up. I swear. Why would I do that?
  LARRY: Because you’ve got an appointment with old man Hanover this afternoon and you were looking for a way to shove him onto me. You’re forgetting that I shoved him onto you!
  DARRIN: Believe me, I had a terrible cold [Larry sneezes]
  LARRY: And, what do you think I’ve got? A hangnail?
• Episode: After [a], all of the above lines are cut. Throughout the script the client is referred to as Mr. Hanover. However, in the episode, the name is changed to Mr. Hornbeck.
  
  
• Script:
  DR. BOMBAY: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I prescribe it whenever it’s indicated.
  DARRIN: Yes, but with all due respect, your practice is limited. What about the rest of humanity? [Larry mouths “Good boy”, to Darrin]
  DR. BOMBAY: It so happens that humanity, as you call it, is not my concern.
  LARRY: Little bitterness there, Doctor. And, I understand. You’ve been working for years with no recognition. But, we can fix that. Let us put your pill on the market and your name will be known throughout the world!
  DR. BOMBAY: For your information, it already is.
  DARRIN: Really? I’ve never heard it, before. [Larry mouths: “Shut up!”, to Darrin]
  DR. BOMBAY: [to Darrin] Obviously, we live in two different worlds.
• Episode: After Dr. Bombay’s first lines, the remainder of this is cut.
  
  
• Script:
  DARRIN: Sam, we’re rich!
  SAMANTHA: [a] Now, wait, let me - -
  DARRIN: [b] Hon, we haven’t got time, now. We’re meeting with Hanover Pharmaceuticals and we can’t wait to spring this on old man Hanover [kissing her] Bye.
  SAMANTHA: [following to door] Just a minute . . .
  LARRY: [c] Samantha, tale a last look at your husband. The next time you see him, he’ll be a millionaire!
  SAMANTHA: I just want to know, is this the Doctor that Doctor Altman sent?
  DARRIN: Sure, Great guy. Little eccentric. . .
  LARRY: [d] But, who cares? [kissing bottle] There’s gold in them thar pills!
• Episode: Lines [a], [b], [c], and [d] are cut.
  
  
• Script:
  ENDORA: Oh, you’re back.
  SAMANTHA: How could you?
  ENDORA: Just what are you referring to?
  SAMANTHA: You know he doesn’t practice on humans!
• Episode: The last two lines are cut.

ACT II

Larry’s Office:

• Script: [Larry is surrounded by salesmen]
  LARRY: [to the boat salesman] Say, I like that one with the smokestack! [to the Tailor] Might as well make up a couple of tuxes while you’re at it.
  TAILOR: Yes, sir. Tropical or regular?
  LARRY: Couple of both. [to the boat salesman] How much for the one with the smokestack?
• Episode: After Larry’s first line, the rest is cut.

Darrin’s Office:

• Script:
  SAMANTHA: Dr. Bombay’s pills! That’s what I tried to warn you about.
  DARRIN: [falsetto] Thanks for the warning. Do you happen to know of an opening for a soprano? [muttering] Your mother!
  SAMANTHA: I was only trying to help.
  DARRIN: [falsetto] How come every time she helps us, we end up needing help? [clutching his throat]
• Episode: After Samantha’s lead-in line, the rest is cut.
  
  
• Script: SAMANTHA: [continuing] Darrin, a little slower. I’m trying to read your lips. You’re going to kill who? I’ll be right back. [she POPS out]
• Episode: [The following scene is added:] [Samantha POPS into Dr. Bombay’s lab]
  DR. BOMBAY: Too low, eh?
  SAMANTHA: Can’t talk at all.
  DR. BOMBAY: Is that so terrible. I’ve met him and he doesn’t have much to say.
  SAMANTHA: Dr. Bombay, how would you like to be reported to the Witch’s Medical Association?
  DR. BOMBAY: Now, now, now. Lets’ remain calm and not indulge in idle threats.
  SAMANTHA: Now, you know you aren’t supposed to practice on humans. Now, get up off your hassock and give me something that’ll bring my husband’s voice back, or else!
  DR. BOMBAY: There’s really only one way to do this you know.
  SAMANTHA: What’s that?
  DR. BOMBAY: Well. I’d have to . . .why no . . .it’s simply out of the question for a doctor of my far flung reputation. . .
  SAMANTHA: Whatever it is, you had better do it, or you have no idea how far flung you will be.

Larry’s Office:

• Script: Samantha pours Darrin a glass of champagne. After his voice returns to normal, Darrin pours champagne for the others.
• Episode: Samantha pours for everyone, before anyone drinks.

TRAILER

Larry’s Office:

• Script: Says Darrin has been with McMann & Tate for two years.
• Episode: Says Darrin has been there three years.