A Bewitched Final Episode

by Chuck T


One possible finale to the original series...

   Darrin has an important presentation before a convention of advertising executives. He is deep in thought and not wanting to be interrupted as he rehearses. Endora pops in and Sam cautions her to keep quiet, "Actually, it might be better if you split." So Endora does just that, and splits herself in two. Sam says, "That is worthy of Uncle Arthur." Endora zaps herself back whole and replies, "You don't have to be vulgar." After more patter, Endora does leave and we cut to Darrin back stage at the event being introduced by Larry as "Darrin Stephens, an example of the dynamic advertising man of today."

   As Darrin is about to step on stage, Endora zaps him into full clown costume with a big red nose, fright wig, floppy shoes, the works and says "This is what you get for taking yourself so seriously DumDum." She zaps away.

   Darrin improvises his way through the presentation, and we cut to him arriving home still in full clown makeup, and steaming mad. Samantha looks at him, and though she tries to hold back, has no choice but to laugh. Naturally, Darrin thinks it is no laughing matter.

Darrin: "Once again my dignity has been assaulted."

Sam: "Sweetheart, I know, and I will have you changed back as soon as possible."

Sam does succeed in getting Darrin changed back to his normal self, but Darrin's attitude is still the same.

Darrin: "I'm not sure I can put up with always looking over my shoulder and wondering what the next thing your wacky relatives are going to do to me. I think we need some time apart to think about where we go."

Sam: "But I love you."

Darrin: "I love you too, but I love my sanity and dignity too."

Darrin packs up and leaves for the Y. Sam calls Endora who appears.

Sam: "Mother you have gone too far. Darrin has left me."

Endora: "Oh Samantha, you are so melodramatic, you get that from your father--He is going to come home just like always. He never could take a joke."

Sam: "Mother, he has taken it for 8 years!! If not from you, then Daddy or Uncle Arthur or someone." (Sam's eyes well up) "You have finally broken his spirit."

Endora: "Daughter--you really do believe you have lost him." (Endora hugs Sam) "I'll simply put a spell on him to bring him home."

Sam (interrupting Endora): "No mother. No more spells. If he comes home the only magic that will work is love."

Samantha tells Endora that she has decided to convene the Council of Witches to renounce her powers and be a mortal to get Darrin back. Endora puts up a fight, but Sam cannot be dissuaded.

Cut to Darrin in a bar with Larry and sitting next to Larry is the drunk (Dick Wilson). Darrin and Larry are having a drink together.

Larry: "Darrin, whatever the problem is, it can be worked out."

Darrin: "Larry, I can't even tell you what the problem is--you would never believe me."

Larry: "Darrin, I've been married for 25 years and I've heard everything."

Darrin: "OK, my wife is a witch."

Larry: "I feel the same way about Louise at times."

Darrin: "It is not a feeling, it's a fact. And my mother-in-law is the wicked witch of the west, north, south , and east."

Larry: "That's normal."

Darrin: "And my daughter is a witch, and my son is a warlock."

Larry: "Now we are veering off into the Twilight Zone."

Darrin: "Larry, I've had enough!!"

Suddenly Darrin is zapped out of the bar. Larry closes his eyes, opens them, and sees no Darrin. He smells his drink and looks inquiringly at the drunk (Dick Wilson).

Drunk: "Hey buddy, I'm not surprised--that guy is always disappearing like that when it's his round."

Cut to Darrin being zapped into the Stephen's living room by Endora, who explains the situation. Then cut to Samantha addressing the Council of Witches.

Sam: "...For 8 years you have all disapproved of my choice of a husband, and made his life and mine as difficult as possible. I must now make a choice between the world I grew up in and the world my husband lives in. I have decided to join the mortal world."

Suddenly a voice calls out, "I object!" It is Darrin, with Endora behind him.

Darrin: "I can't let you do that. I love you for who you are. I love everything about you. I will not let you give up your identity."

Sam: "I just want to be a normal wife and mother. To be your wife."

Darrin: "You can be all of that, and a witch. I love you."

Sam: "I love you, too, sweetheart." They embrace and kiss.

Endora: "And I promise not to interfere anymore."

Sam: "Witches honor?"

Endora: "Witches honor." (Makes witches honor sign while other hand is behind her back with fingers crossed).

The End


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